Welcome to "Oppositeland, CA"

SO FUCKING MAFIA, your "business." MAY I PUKE NOW? I pray for the day GOEBEL SENIOR ADULT CENTER IS IN MY PAST. You are terrorists. Bye.

It's not that bad. Not yet. In fact, when I put his envelope in the box, there were not too many potential assassins around. Not too many. Gonna shoot me from "Pinkie's Drinkin' Lot?" Caught! By the Great One! The REAGAN LIBRARY DEDICATION PHOTO? Has Wiley ordered it taken down yet? Not yet? Kids, they get really freaky when the POTUS and Vice POTUS are in the same place. After wondering why all of the governor's bodyguards had, as grandpa Howard Hughes once said, "Taken a powder," I saw that sign from the .gov "little man" peeking around a satellite truck. I got the message. Do you? So in FedPen they are! As my family said, "Can't do anything with them, can't do anything for them." I had enough 'training" by First Grade. Really! Are you related to the guy who lost a certain revolutionary war? I doubt it seriously. Bobby believed it and, uh, he seems to be dead. Police report, please. Oh, I need MONEY, right heroin cartel protecting copper?

Google lesbians and fags, here is the tale if I get my butt killed. Aw, screw you, you've got to pay for that one {much like sex in Thousand Oaks}. I, as dad said, have a bad case of "the shorts," girls. Oh, how about that Clinton Foundation address? 55? I'm practicing my pointing from the Orwell stage, like Bill. Cigar on the hotel veranda as Michelle, Hillary, and Caroline argue? I'm there for you, sir! No? What is the matter with you? [not Clinton, you already in jail old cia guys who had the wrong file] How nuts are they? Half the damn Secret Service in the crpd park, and they "Don't talk too much." Not much. Jesus! GOP candidates are going to file a lawsuit, because I'm headed to jail for a Ralph's ROMAINE 3.0 shopping cart full of DIRT parking ticket? You fools should be surprised at who just might pay it, and "we" are going to the Callyfornia State Supreme Court just for amusement, Governor Brown, you big antiquated jackass. I guarantee it, Newt! Is Gingrich still alive? I hope so.

Google girls, I don't get out much, so porn stars come to me. No, not like that! I'm trying to give them a real job! "Mafia, get that fucking camera on the scaffold! I don't have all goddamn day!"


I Need Good PR, Like Newt

"Grandiose." "Megalomaniac." "Defeated communism." "Has a critical role in history." "Like Churchill." "Narcissistic." "Dangerous." "Not stable." Alienates Independents."
And I'll be on my way to North Carolina!
Don't ask why.


Rats Off a Sinking Ship

What's a sure clue you won't be President of the United States next year?
The "Navy Librarian" is just now getting into 1952 diplomatic pouches and so forth.
I said, "You got out before I graduated from High School?"
I did not dare mention my job title at the big, suburban, Catholic school.