12.31.2010

Now, Let's Get Ugly

It's the Thousand Oaks morgue of the future, and I do not have "ESP." Oh, it's in Mexico? Where is Mexico? GOT NATIONAL SECURITY? Pardon me for making sense.

I've read, in a month old Los Angeles Times, that a "seige mentality" has taken hold of lawful police officials in Mexico. What is my saying, broadcast only to CRPD rabbits & squirrels?"Shock & awe, in all the wrong places!"

DEAR U.S. SOLDIER BOY:

If I get elected, you are going to Mexico, because it is on our/your border, and a neighbor to the south governed by drug thugs and their gangs can't be a good thing.

William C. Hughes a.k.a. WILLIAM V

I now await the cries of "He's crazy!" A person who is fully human does not seem to be permitted to make sense in the Republic of California without much scorn. That's the way of the world out here, which is why everyone has a peculiar learned helplessness when it comes to ground transportation to Independence, Kansas City, or St. Louis, Missouri. Policeman, I encourage another "On Purpose Car Wreck (OPCW), because I will exit the vehicle shooting a big shotgun. [Thought I'd get that out there for the ca "way-out"]

Yes, all is not lost, as I had witnesses today who can attest that another human knows: a) Nancy Pelosi is nuts; and b) Hillary Clinton is fourth (4th) in line to the U.S. presidency in the event of calamity; a situation I view as grave.Speaking of graves, if you are very old and die, just because I was in the same building does not mean I caused someone to expire.

Oh, the spies and their warped logic! May I look up Andrew Jackson's feats on Google next week? And, more folks than MI-6, ISA, the London Metro Police, and other usual suspects know why I am interested in the USA's history during 1829-1837.

To Arms! To Arms! The Americans Are Still There!

Let's review my armamentarium. This is the "yuk-yuk" blog.
hughesforgovernorin28days.wordpress.com is the "eclectic" blog.
hughesvision2013.wordpress.com is the new, I really am running for president blog (with an all time high of $124 of not my money funding to report to the Federal Election Commission next month).
Hold on to your hats, because williamhughesistheking.blogspot.com is not a "mafia joke" about "kings," because when you go to that address, at least as of last evening, the "inside" title, not web address, to be more specific, is "William Hughes Is The U.K. King."
No? I got paintballed, and the Prince of Wales got paintballed.
Coincidence?
Will you please shut up, mind your own business, and do not drive drunk on New Year's Eve?
[bring on a spy to say, "It is a good thing to drive drunk."]

12.30.2010

Friday Rigged Bingo: Don't Miss It!

"We" want to know if .mafia has switched from VIAGRA to CIALIS? Yes, I did see the "Girl banged behind bedroom door, go down to dinner with 'The Family' scene" in The Godfather, and that movie is still all I know about the real Mafia. Should I start a new blog to issue denials? Not nuts. Not selling drugs. Not gay (who was "WILLIAM GAY," Mormons?) Not banging 14 year- old females. Did I close-down the Marines war criminal training camp last night? Oh, that's right, I'm not elected yet.

I encourage all mafia/drugboys/thugboys to threaten me this weekend, because I will get in your face and tell you I'm WILLIAM V, and shut the f*** up. Want "proof?" On the following banking question in the September, 2010 issue of CFO, I answered exactly opposite of the ahmurican, got no rights, dumb as a rock respondents.

Rank the following kinds of banks in order, from lowest to highest, based on the public's current trust in them:
A. National banks
B. Local Banks
C. Credit unions
D. Banks in which the government has a stake

USA said: D, A, B, C.
WILLIAM V said: C, B, A, D.

Hey fools, have I mentioned you're flat broke?
NOT ONE RED CENT!!!!!

Let's (not) Talk "Spy Code"

Hey! It's an autograph from "Sky King," just like the one of Howard Hughes' USA's Soldier Boys removed from the "web." To be "glorious," try and steal my copy of it, and maybe die tonight!

Penny looks a bit disoriented. If she were me, it would be: a) She's bipolar!; b) She's on meth!; c) She's using/selling cocaine!; d) She's good and drunk!; e) We don't know dick about Nixon or psychiatric diagnoses, so she's "Just plain nuts!"

The zebra was quick with smelling salts and slaps to both cheeks. Spit out the blood, pit out a tooth fragment, and get back on-line, if TIME WARNER will allow it. As we said as SpyKids, "Who died and left them boss?" Not computer illiterate? Sit in front of the widescreen and receive your mind control instructions.Me? I feel better knowing the neighborhood pit bull is being fattened up for a rap video, the meet me on the Lambert East Concourse Man was seen taking a "flyer," and the 70+ crowd packs around the free magazine table. That magic table, by the way, is the same one where Hughes (that's me, moron), cracks through classified material by reading a glossy, four-color, open source defense/defence publication.

Have they started censoring Navy Times yet? Not yet? Some of those letter-writing sailors have more seditious ideas than I, and they print the damn letter. Don't ask me, I'm just a civilian with occasional GI problems, like delay on the poop deck, with no fat-assed GI Bill to fall back on. Regarding my slogan of, "They show me everything," I will have empathy for the plug & jack salesmen when the DOD budget is zero (0), however, unplugging grandma from her respirator might be the only alternative if our "inner ring" Pentagon boys keep spending like the experienced drunks they are.

Hey rich kid! Did grandpa write you out of the will? Again? Why not turn him off like The Netherlands or Switzerland? Porno, plenty 'o supposedly illegal drugs, sex every which way, and human remains in the compost heap, but don't forget to sign-up for the next old folks bus trip to a not as shady as Vegas casino. (When your recently unemployed son-in-law or daughter oft beaten by her ca boyfriend could use the money). Brokaw got it wrong Gen z, y, & z. "They" are the "Rottenest Generation," in my opinion. Won the "Big One," eh? How many Jews had to die first? Can you believe there are crackpots who say FDR made the depression worse by stimulating the economy--a lot? I guess they have blogs, too. Nukes? Pardon me for going to the Truman Presidential Library and holding cables in my hand that seemed to indicate the many fried Japs plan was wholly unnecessary. Why did they do it? May I have a lift to Independence, Missouri, and I shall nail that one down. Don't keep them waiting, because they ALREADY TOLD ME WHY, BUT I HAD BETTER HIDE THE CUPS, HIDE THE DONUTS, HIDE THE CAKE, HIDE THE PIE.....because I am behind enemy lines in more than one way.

Selfish beyond all reason they are here in the Gold Left Coast Republic. Chili on Friday, courtesy of "Richard," and the plan was to discuss California Code 646.9 & 1708.7 issues with Andrea, and at least I know her last name. "Stuff has been missing lately," said Mark "Mafia" Williams. Sir, please define "stuff," and "we" surely need a COURTROOM to "discover" and thereby disclose to all the means by which missing items go missing. As for missing persons, that may be, as the old ones say, "Above my pay grade," which at present is Food Stamps, and thus, I am admittedly pissed-off. Aw, f*** the pay grade excuse, I'm just not the cops, but if I end up El Presidente, your ass will move fast.

rob bjc addendum:
A free loaf of bread from PANERA, established as SAINT LOUIS BREAD COMPANY? Did I not boast to "Rachel" that I sipped my java at their "Flagship Panera location" across the Richmond Heights/Clayton, Missouri divide from their Corporate Headquarters, and a few minutes later, the JFK Tower man said "stuff" about flagship this, flagship that. "Coincidence?" UK people, we shall not be working all of the "VAN BUREN" clues today. That, I believe, is Buckingham Palace/Scotland Yard "stuff."

12.29.2010

Gangland-Arnoldland: Moonbeams at 11

The Invaders. What a great show! And, a bit scary to this little kid. [Did I just bite my lip, due to the terroristic "Gravity Boys" in space? Yeah, and so what? You duds are so shot down! When? I don't know]. May I post my famous, one and only one, kooks, UFO sighting report? Carter saw one, 'ya big ass, and in hughesscreenplay#8, a .gov trickster starts a near-effective "whispering campaign" holding George W. Bush was abducted by one. What! He really was? I did not hear that!

Hey kids! It's a helicopter first manufactured the same year scumbuckets did not lure me into a profitable life as a drug dealer! Me? Deal drugs?
TALK SHOW LINE GIVEAWAY: "Jay/Dave/Conan, I'm the only guy on Earth who could have lost money selling cocaine." [Light APPLAUSE sign...do they still do that?] New Jersey State Police helicopter, eh? They never pulled me over, but Confucius say, "Never get lost in NJ shore mafia town, unless you are named Hughes." (.gov .mil .mafia--I do not know what that means, and you are encouraged to come to court as defendants so "we" figure it out)

Since when is .mafia more just than the real government? As "Bobby," the late, great, and Legendary Bobby said, "Welcome to California." Hughes testimony is being given in the mafia billiard room, where I receive such treats as Pecan Pie, a real live fresh orange, and cheap-o little pastries, because how do you think those guys stay rich?
A few days ago, an old Black Hills ex-cop was the interrogator. "Are you in a gang now?" My right hand went up, JOHN DEAN style. "R, I asked if they were in a gang, and they said no. I asked if they were selling drugs, and they said no. Do I look like the cops? Do I look like the sheriff?" What did that guy say from a white SUV in the MOTEL 6 lot long ago in LA after he almost hit me (a recurrent joke), with 'po 'lil Hughes bathed in headlights? "Looks can be deceiving." What is our overly healthy jogging girl with "bud" headphones on wearing today? Wow! You can't do that! I know already it is against the rules. Oh, what was her colorful outfit?
HIGHLY CLASSIFIED, DIPSHIT!
the daily denial:
I didn't know what Navy grandma meant as a 5 year-old, nor did she have "ESP," nutjob, when she said, "Don't be like Herbert Hoover."
g'night.

12.28.2010

LARGE DEHYDRATING PEPPARONI, EXTRA CHEESE PLEASE

Hey, let's get down to some snitching! I can, too, because I'm all Hollyscummy-ized now. Did 'ya hear why [REDACTED BY bad SANTA'S FIRED ELVES] got canned from Universal? Yeah, his girlfriend told me, and his mom got the boot, too, right before Golden Parachute time! What a-holes! No wonder that s***canned dude who also got axed from MGM read my script and stole it! MGM--source of all evil...excuse me, that's Disney, isn't it? Palin! Help! It's not so easy to trash-up these people, why, they might even ki---DOWN! DOWN! THERE'S A MAN WITH A GUN IN THE OLD FOLKS BILLIARD HALL!

"Let's go to court!"
It is the "Hughes Holler," they all hear, but we shall get to the GOT COGNITION? issue later. Ask Dr. Cornelius, please. NO ALLERGIES WHATSOEVER. Cipro? Here is the not "paranoid" at all allegation. Get Hughes blood, design a killer drug at BAYER AG (Nazis), give H-man a 103 degree fever, stick him with an IV, prescribe Cipro, and the rest is litigation with BJC Health System, where a relative of mine conveniently ran the private loony ward for many years.

Yes, BJC provided my middle-class paycheck for many years, until they: a) Absolutely would not promote me, no matter how much my clinical excrement did not stink; 2) Gave me a boss with the same name as the county prosecutor, and he was indeed a big dick; 3) Sent me to the big city when I again did not "land" a supervisory job, but I tried to help the incompetent woman who got the job, because I used to be a "nice guy"; 4) Tried to kill me via another Missouri Department of Mental Health "true rumor" holding that a certain former state employee, and at that time, BJC Manager, would, uh, for lack of better English, get your ass killed; 5) Made my life so miserable, I took a pay cut, after a 7% raise, to go "back to (the) state," not State Department, although all of the spies loved "Burt," my U.S. State Department screenplay character who pushes academic & foreign policy journals around his desk and talks to confused, younger guys on the presumably secure (but not) .gov phone about CIA and shit. I feel compelled to state, on Soldier Boy's Internet, that Burt did not cause the "Wikileaks," because he is really, really, a 100% fictional character, despite how delusional you may be.

State service = 1% annual raise + a decent pre-Obammycare health care package. Leave time? Why do you think I'm not trying to put Lohan in jail this week? I know public employees, and they just will not be back to work until January 3. Pension? Did you say "dedicated pension benefit?"They tried to screw me out of mine, but now, VESTED=BUSTED, because MOSERS invests in rather nasty, greedy geopolitical places, and every time I call the 800 number to Country Club Drive, Jefferson City, Missouri, they say "Yes, Mr. Hughes" and so forth. That's not like the banks, but "we" will address that in Hughes v. Federal Reserve Bank, et al, and I know "The (D.C.) Supremes" are already licking their chops on that one.

What did Dr. Lipschitz say at the just like in Immaculate morning meeting? "You could have died!" That's right girl, but BJC thought I needed an insipid handout (in "T.O" a "flyer") on anxiety. How about the ER doc in the cubicle? He looked a lot like the Nazi doctors at LAS ROBLAS, in ugly assed Thousand Oaks, California, a "Breakaway Republic," and I'm sooo sorry for telling the truth, asswipe. "Liberals" though they reportedly are, the Sheen family has yet to order up my airborne escape, as with that lush Charlie.

Circling at 8,600 feet back to pizza, I think I am Constitutionally allowed to ask a question. Do your eyes have fluid in them? Yes. Is pepperoni salty? Yes! Why give Hughes four (4) slices of pepperoni pizza? So he eats it, and subsequently, both eyes turn into the Sahara. Got eyedrops for a buck at Little Pammy's Dollar Tree? mmmmm...that pizza tasted good, but I need to see in order to operate the old mafia day care center's "Farmer in the Dell" 755's. The goal? I think President Obama ought to buy-in on the "Public Option" in his own Hillarycare II national health plan. Once booted from the "Black House," he will receive better care than I, because I'll have to visit 80 Hillcrest, not find "Dr. King" (can you spell "hint," Ben?), and be given 600 mg of the liver-wrecking pharmaceutical pill of choice.

Hey, those trade label TYLENOL Jonathan left behind kind of give me a legal "buzz!"

STUDY GUIDE
Bulging Eyes = Gravity Fields
Burning Eyes = Radiation
Dry Eyes = Ingestion of a Dehydrating Food or Fluid
Surveillance Through Optic Nerve = As the NOT schizophrenic girl said, "They can see through your eyes!"

Who are they?Who are they?Who are they?


AVIATION QUOTE OF THE DAY:

TOWER: "How's the braking out there?"
PILOT: "Sir, I could stop on a Sixpence, or as you would say, on a dime."

ALTERED ROCK LYRIC OF THE DAY:
"Shot through the heart, and you're in jail,
Yes, you're going, without fail."

12.27.2010

William's Wise Discretion

Hey Life, your life is not on the line 24/7, so pardon my slight jumpiness after a thoroughly rotten Christmas weekend. As I tell the "T.O." youth, "Don't grow up to be homeless!" (Or stuck at LaGuardia). "Snow, snow, beautiful snow," said Howard Hughes financed 3 Stooge Curly, to which Moe asked, "Did you write that?" "No!," said Curly, "I shoveled it!" What am I shoveling? Begins with an "s" spies, and ends with "it."

Despite what I just heard out of Boston atc, we proceed with the humor. "What did he hear?" "What did he hear?" cry the automatons. Alright:

PILOT: "I've got to take a look at this wing."
TOWER: "Go back and look."
Ouch! All of that time, and the guy next to you has on yucky after shave? Barf bags are available on the taxiway as well, I'd imagine.

I would never try to discourage air travel, but the fact is, I sent a United States Postal Service (USPS) letter to the Airline Pilots Association asking them to consider some type of "job action" to help me break out as "The Aviator's" grandson. I think the letter fell into the hands of not the real U.S. Government, but those not-dreaded-by-me Watergate Spooks. So, there has been no disruptive strike, and I use discretion. Would I post something like this before you got home safely from seeing grandma & grandpa for Christmas?

We now go to the skies over the Atlantic Ocean near New York City approximately 3:15 p.m. est on Christmas Eve.

PILOT: "Who is this widebody to my right? Who is he?"
TOWER: "It's an Airbus 320."
PILOT: "Who is this at one o'clock?"
TOWER: "You're to follow and maintain separation."
PILOT: "I see 'em! I see 'em!"

Yeeha! And now, "Line up and wait" is an icy "Go back and look."
I'm not sure I'd like that, but first I have to get out of accursed Cali-fornia.

12.23.2010

Scared Yet?


Liar. Cokehead. Slut *uckin' in the White House "stand up" penis kind of guy! Wanna argue on TV? Saving grace? Only he & Blum could turn me into a Republican, and Hillary, who killed Vince Foster? "We" want to know. Pammy, the NSA "Ponytail Division" knows you said my face would be on that maoutain someday. A POTUS-servicing drug snitch & coke whore, but correct!


Boys (the new ones that is) we are paying a little vist to Ft. Meade and the NSA. For the inevitable (Lynn) Getty Image, I want an Uzi, too. Oh, the show! It must go on, right Mr. Silver? Right! The new, not nuts, Royal as well Commander in Chief dude can't have a gun? Get a life!

No flying? rattled the china on Melanie Street, what little we 'po folks had. Killed my mother eh, USA? Here it is and don't drop the Wi-Fi please.new web site? yeah, but as the idiots have said for many years, let's "Do it!"
Dudes, did 'ya hear? I AM WILLIAM V, and the last King to fire the P.M. was...WILLIAM IV.
A STATE OF WAR EXISTS BETWEEN THE UK AND USA--again. Why? Oh, eight years of torturing the king (me), and by the way, the U.S. is nothing more than a big terror state. Ask the rest of the world's intel services if you don't believe me.
Drive carefully, as Russian .mafia might hit your car, if not you (with bullets and everything, kids). Are the trees getting bigger, again? What did they do to my old F-4? Bastards! Scum! Find me an old MIG as I BOOM, hit the eject button! W-A-R. can you spell it?

How Bad Is It?

It is so bad among the "Ungoverned Territories," a.k.a. "California," I feel compelled to let you all know WILLIAM CHARLES HUGHES a.k.a. WILLIAM V is claiming the United Kingdom's throne, and what do you not too human "creatures" have to say about it? Lot's of SILENCE in the Goebel Senior Adult Center's Computer Lab.

The political prisoner, me, is being allowed to listen to Air Traffic Control signals (Boston, USA) and look at "Girlie" pics, courtesy of WMMS in Cleveland, a city I kind of liked in "passing through." Good classical station, not too stinky (and I do not talk "spy code"), and as for the spouse being really pissed because I did not die from a massive dose of heart rhythm disrupting drug, we shall get to that later in USA's not terribly just courts. The "corporate rock stations" love this show, because we are really all T.O.DD's "Heavy Metal Kids," and as for Ozzie in my U.K., I have the cliche "No Idea" what he is up to besides a seemingly good new release, because he is allowed to, as Maf-ia says, "Make a livin'," whereas WILLIAM V is not.

Giving me a "mafia ride" to the EAGLETON FEDERAL COURTHOUSE in Saint Louis, Missouri? I didn't think so. Will the Goebel laser printer, now behind what I sarcastically call the "Nurses' Station" print-out the transcript of USA's/Kentucky "No lights, wrong runway air disaster" where the GROUND EMS transcript catches the "Crash a plane, kill 'em all" culprits.Fly to Toronto? Me? "Bi-coastal" from LA to NY? Me? Now fellahs, grandpa flew that as "Charles Howard" to get away from pests I have to tolerate every day, but I am no longer "Spam in a Can," nor am I trying to scare Hollyscummywood people by turning off engines, although I'd like to.

May I go somewhere and write like a guy seeking the U.S. presidency? Aw, why bother when I've dubbed whatever this is as "The Joker Counter-Revolution," and don't steal that one, please. Navy grandma spotted my mean streak, and you kooks want to think nothing will be of consequence over "TORTURED since 2002." Not the slogan I had in mind, scummy Army & Navy JAG's.

LET'S GET IT IN BEFORE $12.00 per hour policeman "RICK TANAKA" (alias) drops the Wi-Fi/
AVIATION QUOTE OF THE DAY:

PILOT: "Turn the lights on."
TOWER: "Alright."
PILOT: "Now we see 'ya."
Should we add the MARGARET LEONARD HUGHES QUOTE OF THE DAY? Who won't like that? Uh, Carter, Bush, Bush, Clinton, and...what's his name? That Negro! Hussein Obama, isn't it?Didn't they hang a guy with a name like that? Something about an A-rab who did lots of construction work and carried a rifle. Isn't that normal? Oh, you never worked construction. It all ties together somehow, because why do I know, when the FBI plays it dumb, who picked up money for the "hijackers" at a certain MAILBOXES USA?

I'm "nuts?" No, the Federal Bureau of Investigation might know that ART MATTHEWS was the one who said, "Hughes, by a landslide," in a different "venue." How about DEAN PATRICK DELANEY saying, "Hughes, 'ya won" in his Bostonian accent. How about a Hollygossipcolumn? "Gimme All Your Lovin" from the immortal ZZ Top, when it was just a wasteland of FM commercials! Who done it? The hometowners @ kshe. Now dudes, one of the ZZ guys did indeed drive-by on Janss Road, in a cool car and how was I sure it was him? Shhhhh...the beard...is anybody listening? It's dyed. Verrry observant is Hughes, so when the bit of hair seen was not the same color as the beard, and I'm "all that," it was in all likelihood, which one?

I'll have to get on Soldier Boy's Internet and see. As for TV Star Girl in front of Starbucks Tuesday, I'll never tell. My joke to surveillance? "WB, if you leave the lot right now, you can see the Great Hughes and act like nothin' is going on."One thing I can say for these blasted California spies is, they really do behave as if nothing is going on well, but they've had a lot of practice since, oh, when Howard crashed into a Hollywood house, he supposedly died in 1976, and I met/caught you-know-who in 1985, and good god, I still call the worst one "The Great Psy-Op of 1988-89." 1991? Sure a lot of Swiss financial phone numbers with "91" in them, but it's nothing a good "Red Scare" can't fix.
The Soviet Union broke-up in 1989? You fell for that one?
Merry Old England has nukes they won't share with NATO?
"Potential" World leaders "stashed" and, uh, not dead?
Whew! That's better than my screenplays!
Merry Holidays, if "they" kill my ass.
gotta work on that trick script ending
DON'T SHOOT!!! (except with below-the-line mafia man's big camera)

12.22.2010

THESE absolutely free GLASSES WORK JUST FINE

USA .mil, he really was the 14th president, and have you taken your medication today, General?
Now wait a minute, Outer Limits, Twilight Zone, and Coast to Coast AM fans. I lived off of I-270 in Missouri (MO) for 15 years, HUGHES NETWORK SYSTEMS, LLC is off I-270 in Maryland (MD), I sort of ran for president in New Hampshire (NH) in 2008, but my book did not get written, and I forgot the 101 sign above. Now, it's U.S. 101 in California? Do I have to push the RALPH'S CART 729 out on that baby like me mum would have to get you .mil, .mafia, and .gov asses to pay attention? I'll show 'ya two of something, alright. TWO AIR FORCES. TWO NAVIES, and I'm just not: OLD LANGUAGE: "mental disease or defect"--NEW LANGUAGE: "mental disorder." As for you? "Nuts." "Crazy." "Kooky." "Wacked." "Insane." "Out to Lunch." "Banannas." "Distracted." "Flipped-out." Get the "message?" Uh, USA's "Miranda" is always the same, right spooks?
Okay E.T.-chasers, here's the "plan."
We get out of a vehicle at the same place they tried to run me over in 2008. "Guys in the trees?" Of course, but this is just a guy with a topcoat like Bill Donovan and a gal. I know the way, so past the freindly lone security guard we'll go. Steps, no elevator. Anybody looking yet? Into the office, yeah that office. "Hi, how you all been?" "Sit down at the desk, Hughes," they will say. I guess we won't talk about the way N.Easterners drive next time, but it's better than the "We live in our car" West Toast types, and I'll swear to that.
I'll say, "Look at H.W. and those three limos. I saw that last time. Hillary, cute as a button, how about that? Oh, and there's the Coonskin Hat Man..he runs every time." They will ask, "Is she going to be your running mate?" What will I say? "I don't have one damn vote yet. What are you talking about?" Okay SS smartypants, how do we get out? Oh, don't you know New Hampshire? (gotta know them to win). The capitol small towners will act dumb up to a point, then "they" will come. Braying, honking, yelling, pushing, shoving, jockeying for position, crushing poor G-man's staff into a corner. (Hey, don't hit me with that mike boom, you big jackass!)
Here's my idea. The capitol dome pops off, doesn't it? And, "we" wheel-out the big QUAKER PUFFED OATS CANNON (which Hughes Aircraft made for the USA's Army Man long ago, but they hid one in there, just in case). She is shot out to the Concord Airport, a place I "skulked" around many times, was afraid to take a photo of my own very restored Gulfstream, got gassed like a WWII Jew in my own apartment few times, but nonetheless was brave or stupid enough to take a pic of the family no longer Lear but "Made in Brazil" job. It was all white as I recall, and I wondered, "Leased, or do we own it?"(I keep this kind of stuff to myself, CRPD park spies).
Anyhow, she can get on a jet that goes back to you-know-where, where I could not get to her [REDACTED BY E.T.] library. Traffic jam, big-time. (Not due to me, of course). I, at primary time, would have a White FORD FOCUS hidden somewhere, to go to Dunkin Donut, sit like a schizophrenic with a neo-Sony Walkman on my ears to prevent "spy chatter," read all about myself in the Concord Monitor, and the do-nothing Merrimack County Sheriff will have to do something besides crack wise.
ATTENTION ALL ca/t.o. SPIES: THE NEXT MOUSE CLICK TO NEW atc location WILL GIVE IT ALL AWAY. Don't you have a free "faith-based" fake homeless spyin' dinner to go to? I've got popcorn, dude. (and you sure as f*** can't have any).

GOT COGNITION?

Holy Toledo! No Russians will be attacking with this sort of image on Pravda, as "they" might choose, through free will absent in USA, to have a piece of that. Rick, is it warm in here? Four batteries away from "What is Andrea Wearing Today?" we are.


yeah, yeah, yeah...I tell the mafia(s) and .mil "wide bodies" smoking was determined to be harmful by USA's pre-.gov Surgeon General in 1964, but as with me mum, it kind of calms me down. (So I don't twist your stalkin' head off, and so forth).

Hey kooks, let's play discordant Christmas music all day at the Old Alzheimer's Center (OAC), when HOWARD HUGHES JR. was not born on Christmas Eve. That said, y'all sure try to kill me on that need to read some Koran real fast holiday, but as the vc Sheriffs, incoming & outgoing know, my policy is your dead body in the middle of Janss Road, and I'll block traffic so someone "Calls the cops," because it is the right thing to do, and they might even come (someone stole my cell phone at the Lutheran Church).


Whew! That Denver rock station sure features young fellows singing about death a lot, but I did like Zevon's "Things to Do When You're Dead In Denver," not because it's very good song, but, uh, the novelty factor can't be beat, and, well, he would probably knew about where you can readily turn up dead, before he died of lung cancer I could have stopped, should crusty old near-cadaver Nazis give up the HHMI. GOT COGNITION? use it!


AVIATION QUOTE OF THE DAY:


TOWER: "What 'ya wanna hear?"

PILOT: "Gimmie some 'Poundcake'."


Excuse me, that's the KLOS quote of the day. I'd better leave kshe-land and check-in on them like ALICE COOPER'S daughter, who played a nurse in the Asylum part of his show.


Is she single?

12.21.2010

Sam-Sam Goes Shoppin'

In a brilliant "sneak attack," Hughes languished at STARBUCKS, pondering the meaning of life and wondering, "Does anybody have a damn job?" Long lines, and a TV/Movie star even old coot me recognized smoking and directing traffic out front. For fun and prizes, two hints: 1) There is a "St. Louis Connection," though not at Lambert these days, and 2) Her initials are "C.R."

Oh, the humanity!, at DOLLAR TREE, where the manager who likes me did not appear until it was all over, and I said, "I made it, without incident." Who was that tall girl who works at WHOLE FOODS, brave enough to chat with the Great Hughes? The security guard who likes me is still there? Are they open on Chistmas, those barefoot Bolsheviks? Nah, probably not.
AVIATION QUOTE OF THE DAY [full www.fec.gov disclosure requires I state it was, uh, from a few days ago, I think]
TOWER: "You will maintain mandatory FAA separation."
PILOT: "Roger."
Who was "Charles Howard?"
Dunno.

12.20.2010

Riding in the King's Boeing 707? Really? Didn't grandpa have a rare case of "The Shorts," to engine that airplane? Who closed the HUGHES AIRCRAFT COMPANY account? Mellon! Who do I have a problem with? Mellon! (Now d.b.a. BANK OF NEW YORK MELLON). How about Bank of America? Three (3) billion in hard cash? Where did that come from? T.A.R.P.?
Q: "What was 9/11?"
A: "A big-assed banker sceme to make tons of money."
Q: "How's the conspiracy going?"
A: "Fairly well."



What's that thang on the engine? "Impulse engines, Mr. Scott." When is Paramount going to jail? Disney? Universal? Sony? MGM? They set-up the whole town , didn't they? Oh, those Missouri "Good Old Boys!"
Q: "What did grandma (yeah, that grandma) send me to "Dub's" market for?
A: "A newspaper."

Where are all of the satellite trucks? Tardy? Big wreck on the 101? HWY 23?

How do I write the wrong ending to my screenplay to be a neo "Tricky Dick?"
Did you think I'd put the real one on the "Farmer in the Dell" 755's?
Trust MSN? How many times to I have to tell you I'm not nuts?
How can a poor boy screenwriter get some privacy, which I am now pronnouncing the UK way, and there is nothing you can do about it.

"Welcome to Hollywood"


Do you live a life where every damn day it is another case of, "Who the f*** is this?" And, "What does he/she want?" Welcome to HughesWorld, and buddy, it is not anything like DisneyWorld. Here is a true story. When the family turned on Disney's Wonderful World of Color in Navy Grandma TV Black & White, little Billy said, "I don't like it." Cosmic! CRPD NEWS FLASH: Did I just tell "Trish The Park Policegirl" on Friday the #2 U.S. State Department man in Mexico City has the same name as a college chum? Is it him? Who gives a f***! How about that Saudi trivia? Now, we're talking (oil) business, son.

40 days & 40 nights of rain? May I turn on the telly and watch your very expensive homes slide down a hill? Nah, the Illuminati/Glitterati don't want that, so I'll get up to Little Pammy's Dollar Tree, Not-so-Safeway, and Starbucks, where I am now a bit like Moline Acres "Harvey the Cop," who never much minded all of the 1970's pot-smoking, because...well, why bother CIA spykids, and everyone knew but me, William V. I just flipped the pancakes, and as for all of the "Barney Fries" v. too crispy, save it for Mr. Silver's movie.

FULL HUGHES DISCLOSURE
12/24/10: Mr. Hughes will be appearing at Starbucks, where "Taryn" might sneak in a free refill.
12/25/10: Mr. Hughes will be appearing at Carl's Jr. where Lohan and her agent sat on their Hollybutts 12.25.09, and I hope maybe we're making a better film than Machete.
12/29/10: Mr. Hughes will return to Starbucks--if still alive--and grace the "D Deb Voss" & "Steph D knee" McDonald's with his presence. Hey barristers, that's one lawsuit I might actually lose, I predict, because I'm going to try and shutter all McDonalds restaurants. Didn't the Clinton FDA argue cigarettes were a "nicotine injection system?" Yes, they tried that approach, so how about Big Macs & sody pop as "Fat and Corn Syrup Infusions?" Healthy? Seen all the fat Mexican kids out here? I have, and I'm running for president rude. On Medical? No, I don't feel sorry for JERRY BROWN, when even Trish said, "We elected him the first time because he was going out with Linda Ronstadt." I replied, "I already knew that" (the Ronstadt part).

One date with Hilton, and I'm the next President of the United States, right Palin?

What a country!

aviation addendum: Sounds kinda crrrazy up there in Minneapolis (don't forget to de-ice thoroughy). Q: "How long did it take to de-ice the Hughes Delta airplane at spacious O'Hare in 1977?" A: "So long, the businessmen were hollering stuff like "Jesus Christ! Enough already! I'm gonna be late for my meeting!" (in Saint Louis, Missouri).

12.18.2010

Can't Have Sexual Intercourse, Girls

See 'ya at CARL'S JR. on Christmas again, right? Five million a picture? Whew! Somebody has some money, not me (yet). Is she out of the drug tank yet? Not yet?


Kim, per People Mag is looking for true love when she's not dancing by her very red Mercedes at Mike's USA Gas. I can give away oil companies, too, buddy.

Does Brooke look like Brooke in New-bury Park. She sure does. Pea soup green 65 Mustang, just like Hilton, but would I defame the great Paris on google? Sir, I abide by the Service Agreement, and now I've joined a "Bible Study" group, because al intel agencies know I'd like to [****] a black girl.

"Still the one?" May I have my LP's & CD's back? Pretty please, mafia man? With sugar on top? Ho, ho, ho, and I'm just not talking "spy code."
Ladies, per The Week, a semi-reliable, quirky neocon, sometimes neoliberal, I don't know what the f*** they are getting at publication informed me Wiki Leak Man Julian Assange is a wanted man on Swedish rape charges his attorney* called "a persecution, not a prosecution." Honey, we're not going there on the Thousand Oaks rule of, "Two weeks to file charges against the drifter I've temporarily housed (and boinked)."
Seems the U.S. Navy's high-tech, "Total Physiological Monitoring" spies like to make fun of masturbation, but don't you know a President Hughes would get rid of the vibrators-at-sea as well as a lot of the fuel wasting boats. No more shore leave for whoring, boys!
Have a great weekend, and maintain FAA mandated separation, please!
AVIATION QUOTE OF THE DAY:
TOWER: "There's a vehicle on the runway."
PILOT: "Roger."

12.17.2010

Watch The Stuff, William



All over ahmurica, they're lining-up for their "crazy checks," and I predicted the rush in...oh 1996 or so. Job? What are you talking about? Speak "Obammy-ese," or be left out in the cold.
Oh Shire Reeve, it seems me car was wrecked by Russians on the 17th, and me backpack was stolen by Germans on the 17th, so what will I do on December 17th, 2010. "Watch the stuff, watch the stuff....." What is my new theory on the U.S. presidency? It is a matter of watching the stuff. Any nukes "missing?" Let us agree to not talk about it, okay? Putin, shut the f*** up, okay? Why? I might have some "friends," even though I don't like them much.
No? Who's e-mail is the first one in my Yahoo! box? Bill Clinton? I'm a Republican now, you lousy land swindler! But by all means, have a nice day.
AVIATION QUOTE OF THE DAY:
TOWER: "Do you see the airport yet, sir?"
PILOT: "Uh, not yet."
My fellow ahmuricans, do you really want to be on that plane?

12.16.2010

Shoot! Shoot!

I saddled-up to the computer keyboard with intentions of writing a serious piece about Bashar Assad, Syria, Israel, what to do with the Golan Heights, melting the Eiffel Tower, and so forth, when my photo spread on google had the pic depicted above. It is from the beach during a State of Israel birthday celebration. The girl to the left with the cowboy hat on would normally be "my type," however, observe her competition. The pouty one in the middle? Oh yes! And, as for the one straddling the fence with the colorful whatever it is on her arm, uh, what I'm thinking is not fit for a PG rated blog such as this.

And now, Faruk, you big Royal ass, here's "the guys" in Kabul. zzzzzzz.

I know no one. I'm the Sgt. Schultz of the itel world. True! And, please tell Letterman, Leno, O'Brian, Ferguson, & Fallon I am sticking to my story until I'm on your little corporate puppet show and tell you where to stick it, and don't ask what "it" means, or I really, really will call the CHP, but don't you know the damn sheriff's agnostics will come anyway. I'm "nuts?" No, now I have it on good authority those guys are actually looking at this site. As for the capital NO that keeps showing up on my screen, despite releasing the shift key, don't you know what a judge said a long time ago on 7700 Forsyth? "Looks like he's getting serious about it." Not important! Why not? The janitor at the water coler is "The Man," and he said, rather disgustedly, "Hurry up and wait."

Line up and wait. Hurry up and wait. What's new in the H-act that is not an act? They are big on sign language our here in western Paki...er, I mean North America. So, I shuffle papers, straighten my back, and look straight ahead as if I'm waiting for someone with a camera to allow me get political on my own damn satellites. Did one "burp" during the 1989 earthquake out here? Yes, and I am from an Andromeda-like Galaxy (M-501) because I was watching the game. Back then, a "Network" was afraid the stadium would fall down and we'd see it, so they cut away, when the Hughes satellite stuff still worked fine. By 09.11.2001, I understand people splatting on the ground was considered news? Entertainment? And, didn't CEH and I discuss that fading distinction more than once.

I was so busy on September 11, 2001, I only saw Kathy Martin's TV for a minute or so (a both towers smokin' shot), and I think I went on record that very day in saying, "That can't happen by accident, that's got to be <gasp> terrorism." Back to work I went, and was kept updated by Shirley Lattimore our very lazy African-American secretary.


SHIRLEY: "Bill, one of the towers fell down."

ME: "It what?"

SHIRLEY: "It fell down."

ME: "All the way down?"

SHIRLEY: "Yeah."


-later-


SHIRLEY: "The other tower fell down."

ME: "What the fuck!"

By this time, Shirley was, as we mental heath people say, "experiencing coarse tremors" and I allege to Jay so-in-jail Nixon it had nothing to do with events in New York, New York.

SHIRLEY: "Bill, can I go home?"

ME: "Yeah, sure."

Then, it was Lori's 5300 Arsenal crack security men.

SECURITY GUY: "We're securing the campus. Nobody can go in or out."

ME: "That's nice."


Moviemakers, if I get my butt killed, don't get it wrong. I think by my usual and customary quitting time, it was just Danny and I in that big building with a dome on top, and as for the "What the fuck is wrong with the FAA? How could this happen? No fighter jets? How could this shit go on? I can't believe this bullshit!" etc. etc. etc...

...have you ordered the NSA's "BLUM-HUGHES GREATEST HITS BOXED SET?" Like T.O.DD's Oblivion and POV, I hear there are green discs, red discs, and FBC Blue discs. Navy Blue, too? Who let the .mil/.mafia in on this?


Don't vote for me. There would be no more military types in the intelligence community, and then they would clog-up intersections and Exit Ramps holding their cardboard signs scrawled with stuff like:
"Fired by Hughes"
"Hughes is Stalin"
"Hughes--Mao Worshiper"
"Hughes-More Communist Than Obama"
yeah, yeah, yeah

Odds & Ends


How about this "inside joke" kids? The model of my Spruce Goose next to that drug smuggler favorite, the DC-3 is, if you look to the right, someplace with tile and a drinking fountain ("bubbler" in Wisconsin) just like the GOEBEL SENIOR ADULT CENTER, where I sit at this moment. How many thousands of "coincidences" do I need to get a few of my own Dollars, Euros, Swiss Franks, whatever. Reading my mind, creatures, for my latest theory on "World Domination," "New World Orders," etc. etc. etc. And, for the record, what did I just say to all present in the mafia Billiard Room? "You got a lot of crazy people in this town, and I'm not one of them."
No dissenters were heard.
Heavens to Betty! The WLUP DJ just muttered "Good luck" as he went to commercial, and their Internet thingy that enables you to listen to Home Depot and Droid commercials for free is the same as KSHE's. Gollllly! What was my White Impala Missouri license plate number, Jay so-in-jail Nixon? WGN 688, and all ca spykids should know that's a TV station in Chicago! Poor admittedly "stuck in the 70's" me does not know what a "Droid" is, but I think it is one of what I call "devices." Hughes is kind of like Larry Hagman as "J.R." in more ways than, "Son, I want my computer screen big, like Texas!"
How about that future video if I'm not murrrded in the CRPD doggie/cat walkin' park? It is me, William Hughes, campaigning for the presidency. I hear a BEEP I don't like, and there he goes again, pushing some stiff out of the way and hollering, "Are you media? You, yeah you! No? Get that f***ing thing out of here!" The device I want to hear is the American Mouth, not Silicon Valley devices. And, as for "The Valley of Silicon," all rabbits & squirrels in the park know what I'd like to do to you.
Meantime, have a nice day.

Santa's Comin'

Nice to see my enemies are having a good day.
Never grandiose, but here are some 12.16.10 FACTS. Gander's poor airborne souls are asking for "touch and go's" when that is not what I called my driving pattern in Clayton, Missouri, USA when Soviet-style thugs were sitting in a car out front of 911 St. Rita Avenue. The hometown radio station that fancies itself as The radio station let me know rock band Skid Row was at least a One Hit Wonder with "18 and Life To Go." ALICE COOPER was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame yesterday? Congrats, Alice, but what did I say to an astonished face in 1972? "That Alice Cooper...they're kind of like a government act, aren't they?"

Look out! He's awake early, thanks to a wayward (but not) leaf blower I want to shoot bullets in another "Hollywood hates me, go back home" script I do not have time to write. Why, oh why no book out of Charlie Company? Now I know. Drama! Drama! Heavens, somebody's got "engine trouble" over Newfoundland, and I cannot be of assistance. However, in the NO TALKING ALLOWED Mafia Center/Condor Center I've resorted to "body signing" on how my air travel has gone, and it is an ugly sight, I'll admit. After a bit of "show," the yoke goes forward, and down we go. Oh, these glitzy types! They love the show! [I'd better post this before either a) Someone throws me off this chair; b) The Wi-Fi is disabled; or c) Flying Monkeys attack the Goebel Senior Adult Center]
\
Watching, watching, watching...the creatures are watching me, William C. Hughes, and I shall no longer say the "C" is like "cat." What have I been saying? "This war is fought in tenths of seconds," and what did I just find? Mr. Hughes, among other skills, is the "Grainy Assassination Crowd Photo Expert" and who do I think I see in the Pakistani prior to Benazir Bhutto checking-out photo? Dancing in front of Little Pammy's Dollar Tree, are we? Not prudent, son, nor was coming into the "Computer Lab" and behaving like a nuts-o space alien. The Telegraph is not a Time Warner or News Corp. place, now is it?
"The investigation is ongoing."

12.15.2010

BIG CAPITAL SKID--ROW AT 11



One guy said, upon peeking at my DELL computer screen, "At least you know how to have half a chance on the computer." Cookie & The Captain? Let the record stand RMN "perfectly clear." Hughes cried all the way through his first TV appearance. (But hung out with the "stars" later in comfort). Ouch! Kooks, at least one thing has changed. TV? Football stadium full of people? Not a problem. However, if one of the roster of "peek-a-boo" actresses wanted to go to [you fill in the blank]...I'm a "good listener" and Dave L. advises to comment on scents. Blood in the water? "It's about time." Yep, it's business, business, business, girls. Where did my Harry S. photo go with the white suit, spotlight, and all others looked...kinda mortal? "Sharp-dressed man" he was. Oh, "they" don't want the Key West type suit. No, no cowboy boots. No hair...uh...trim. What did my teen advisor say on A1A? "You need to improve your posture." As the uncles said, in reference to both allies & enemies, I am now sure, "Where do they get these people?"
until I get server time but no servants, I don't know whether to file a piece as humor or tragedy, so shall we quote "Bobby" once more? Sure thing....."Welcome to California."
One-sixth of the whole world's wealth? Is that a good guess? Son, petrol was 21.9 cents U.S. when I first.....sheriff, where's my car? Never mind, as I've come to like communing with all of your fruit & nut cases. These here ca kooks are still stumping this mental health wars veteran on a whole new DSM of "Space Kadet" mental illnesses. Nice 'lil digital dish on that LEM, Howie, but even if I show an old diagram to locals, and say, "There it is," all's I get is that same old helicopter at the same point on the horizon when I take a breather.
What does it mean? What does it mean? I suppose it means someone is not "done" with what I call "spy Zoology." Did I write a will? Is it valid as hell without question waiting for you a-holes? Yes! Where's Charles' will? Too bad I know. Romaine files? Naturally, William knows. Photos of Howard Sr. and the Gano's? No problem! The "Cedar Chest Letters?" Set-up but good, you are. PENSKE RIVERPORT--It's just me & a skinny Bridgeton, Missouri cop. How many aliases out of READING, PENNSYLVANIA? Over 20, and my favorite one-oops!-how St. Louis Hughesoise do we want to get? "DAVE CARGO?" Aw, maybe that's second place to TERESA GERDING + CHUCK COLSON = "TERESA COLSON."
Thanks for no help I can see, but it looks like I've got a Navy and Air Force, too. Further, they might just help someday, if not today, before I burn down Ottawa or Washington D.C. (again). Instead, let us rip a new anus in the LOS ANGELES BUSINESS LEADERS TASK FORCE ON HOMELESSNESS and their apologist squawk box JERRY NEUMAN. Don't you "Chuck Wagons" and "Puzzle Boys" know this "mess," albeit large, is merely a cabal of old spooks and their "inside jokes?" So sorry, but not, I "get" most of them, and you are but a worthless little spy turd. If you do not believe I, The Great Hughes, used to be a bureaucrat, prepare to have your "task force" heads handed to you by a guy who has made friends with the "Computer Girl" and "Photocopier Fix-It Guy" since 1977. AB, we truly have some "Real Men of Genius" on our hands out here, and don't ask me how I found your damn West Coast brewery; homing genes--no free beer. BTW, I like that "thang" of mine on Secret Service SUV's & helicopters, and "we" will get to that later, right boys?
Did you say the "chronic homeless" take a disproportionate share of the resources? Trouble is, that is a worn-out mental health system truism that might not be true in a "mini-depression," but Calvinists with 2.5 kids, a shiny new Toyota automobile, and tidy white briefs on their butts always sniff status quo along with their white powder. Yes, it was Paragraph four (4) of Alexandra Zavis' Los Angeles Times propaganda piece where I wrote "Kiss of death" in red next to UNITED WAY and CHAMBER (pot) OF COMMERCE. Have these guys seen any young dudes selling crack lately? Had a firearm waved in their vicinity? I'm not bragging, but goddamn it, I'm running for president with ample "street cred," to be sure.
RULE #1: "Implementing the plan" = we're not doing shit.
RULE #2: "In 90 days?" You're really, really, really, not doing shit.
Did you say "Rubber to the road?" Oh, you mean anti-grav hovercraft for the wealthy, and a dead wino in the gutter is still a dead wino come 2015, right?
YOU BET YOUR VILLARAIGOSA! "A permanent roof over people's heads must be the priority."
True men of genius! "Brilliant" minds! Obammy wants to end "chronic homelessness?" This "initiative" is dead in the water if I've been out in the elements for 20 months with a Master's Degree from Jesuits and civilians, lots of professional publications, plus 20 years of Mental Health Professional experience. Please, Mr. President, I need a briefing on how placing a Letter to the Editor or Op Ed piece was far easier before I found out I own the freakin' world.
Is that "blacklisted," or perhaps "whitelisted," sir?
More aid for drunk and stoned Vets? Puuuleeeze, I'm the one who could not pry much information out of the VA, even with my world famous (but not) metaphysical plumber's crowbar, and a state statute behind me, to boot. Isn't it about 25% more salary than the state farm bureaucrat, no work required? Me? Job at the Veteran's Administration? Another "close but no cigar?" And, what did I say, NSA?
"If I got that job with what's coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan, I really would be a terrorist."
Did I read Con-rad Hilton was "clipped" for 13 million dollars U.S.? Added to 230 million dollars...for what? A "shakedown" of sorts? Allow The Great One to guess...they included county jail cots as "social service," and in a very real CA perverse manner, they are. The great mass of "they" continue to abuse drugs and "avoid treatment?" Shocked! Shocked I was to read that no enterprising social work scam artists have set up revolving door "treatment" programs and made themselves some money.
How about the HUGHES COLD TURKEY TREATMENT CENTER (HCTTC)? We slap the "patient" with a 2x4 and shout, "Stop it!" That will be $60,000, Jerry. Did you say Nazi zoning games have caused homeless advocates to have "met resistance" in the NIMBY USA tradition?
Sir/ma'am, meet my liberal, can't find no job, even with a J.D., hungry as junkyard dogs pack of lawyers when I get my capital. Son, did Mr. Neuman say "reach out," or what we call "outreach" in the snowy, homeless really, really do freeze to death so Babbitt has to do more than lie Midwest? Cali-fornia city & county officials have to "help take care of them?" Really? Do I have to wheel-out "Teach a bum to fish, don't feed him laxative-laced food at the church" platitudes?
Lies, lies, lies--they're the official state language of California, and many a "down & out" West Coast guy or gal might die if Hughes does not make it back to the USA. I fear Arizona is lost as well, so ironically, the new border, in my opinion, is called "New Mexico." Roswell? As Dr. Hood said many years ago of my career plans and a young William V not including the George H.W. Bush-led Central Intelligence Agency as an option, "That figures."

numbers, numbers, numbers


To the Kindergarten Q&A we go:
Q: "What did William V see on Charlie's RCA 19" color TV that probably still works fine?"
A: "Something just like the photo above."
Q: "Mr. Hughes, when did VC-25A almost hit your Mazda 323?"
A: "August, 1999." (08/1999).
Q: "Delusions! What was the exact date?"
A: "I'll look it up when I get my library cards back."
Why can't you morons get serious?
Why can't I stop laughing at you?
Facts--California spies don't deal with them too well.
However, they sure like, numbers, numbers, numbers...
here's some numbers for you, nutcase.
C00431841
P8003536
80-01415
For crappy, not all of the tail lights light campers, trips to Costa Rica, many, many, canned hams, and other fabulous prizes, what are those numbers?
Q: "What book did my first hitman trying to get me give, as all .mafia hitmen want to be remembered for later arrest & prosecution?"
A: "A Confederacy of Dunces."
SPY HINT: You are "General Lee," according to some crazy Mormons, people who took too much LSD "back in the day," UFO seekers, and so forth.
SPY JOKE: Watching Hughes? YOU ARE THE DUNCE!!!

12.14.2010

"Have Faith"


Hey, CHP, VC Sheriff, and my faves, the "Cocaine Cartel Protectin' Coppers," those two words that comprise the title of this piece, uttered by a black man this evening, may have saved a life or two. What's my position? "Not guilty, and what was their real name?" CIVIL "sneaky" WAR. I did not start it, but I'll be more than happy to end it as your president.
Questions?
Comments?
I'm available, and the whole worldwide intel community knows where I am.

Space Kadets

Teacher's here! (with little or no experience...honest). Q: Why did Nazis block the previous photo of Ed White? A: The one before this one was the very first one snapped of a guy floating around in space. "One small step for a zzzzit"--What was that, grandpa Howard? NASA had to issue "clarification." Von Braun's Hawaiian shirt, right here at the day care center, and I'm not going places? My, all of a sudden they can't shut up in Warsaw, and I'm not talking "spy talk" or Warsaw, Missouri, Jay. Son, this is serious. For further information, consult a 90 year-old .mafia man, 80 year-old .mil retiree, or one of my Watergate Spooks, one of whom just said this morning, "You're dong quite well." At what? Oh well, I drove the Ford with no brakes fairly well. Hey buddy, that many brake lock-up's, and only one very scared Cuban right-wing kook hit? Why not mind your own f***ing business!

We" await all of Southern California to lose electricity, which will probably take longer than the download of "Ed's" spacewalk photo. [I'll take a look on the Mozilla browser...back in a minute]. It was on the screen, but there's "additional downloading required," which caused "THE RUSSIAN SAILOR BOY" to my right to <cough, cough> cough, whatever that means. As for "KEN/NICK/KENT," he does not like me looking over his shoulder at his "Let's crash another Airbus" card game. I'll check on Ed White and be right back.

Ed was there, but not there. We do this a lot on Microsoft Windows, which is why one of my goals in life is a new, improved operating system, kinda like the days of three big automakers. Bill's, Steve's, and William's. No? I'm supposed to die like a dog in the CRPD "park?" No, I'm going to seek an injunction in a Federal Court to close your stupid T.O. freak show. What are you gonna do about it, spies? In Los Angeles? San Francisco? Sacramento? Fresno? No sir, I am talking about the United States of America, and quite frankly, my dear, this Cali-fornia shit just is not that. And, we've already discussed it.

Big guns are out, as the spacewalk photo file is not recognized by Gatesian computers. And, why was that? Why was grandpa Howard often unhappy about something or other, as am I? May I start a new blog and be 100% serious? Is COMEDY CENTRAL still on? I don't stay in hotels anymore. Did anybody ever joke a lot as el presidente? May I go to the "other blog" now?

Oil of Olay!

12.13.2010

It Really Is America's Best Value

Didn't you all love AbolishTheCIA.org? And, don't you know it will be back as an archive, with not one word changed, although I was followed around by a pack of nutty spies who had a "mission" in life I called "Change the copy." That's not to mention the six week period in Concord, New Hampshire when I got only two hours of sleep per day, never at the same time. Then, the .mil/.gov/.mafia "team" decided 2-6 hours at night might keep them out of jail or the brig.Farther down the pike, my sleep was almost normal, when I wasn't hitting the deck due to guys in big trucks trying to "get a bead on me," then reaching for something in the glovebox. Hughes calls this "The Reach," and though the walls were thin, no shootin' so near the State Capital was allowed.

No commercial jet service at that airport, but did we not do it every day? I'd go to the Post Office, Bank, Food Coop, Pitchfork Records, Castro's Back Room (a cigar shop, Nazis...settle down), or to...where? WHITE MOUNTAIN COFFEE, where the muffins were in little wax paper bags <hint, hint> and the city workers came in to shoot the breeze <more hint, hint> and I did not take any of the coffee girls home, although there was Carter-esqe lust in my heart. Following errands and the "We're gonna kill you" Stunt-of-the-Day [SOUND: BUSINESS JET NOISE..one..two..maybe even three of them] I did not get asphyxiated, so fired FBI, and I'd settle down to drive my spy-killer neighbors counter-nuts with Beethoven, Wagner, & the handy-dandy Clockwork Orange soundtrack album. These tactics I learned at my most unusual Liberal Arts college, where I did in fact receive a B.S. in Political Science, Jack.
Why no girls at Tony's house?
As someone said of travel to Israel, "Too dangerous!"
Gardner, they did not steal my HUGHES 2008 bumper-stickers, did they?
You've got guards & stuff, right?

Left/Center/Right:HI/MED/LOW...Let's Go!!!


Getty, I do not want to chat with an "Image Specialist," but like any politician, I could sure use some $$$. Air Force HUGHES missile on the Left, and an Army HUGHES missile on the Right? Nazis, may I go pee-pee now?
Thanks.
I shall return, barring my murder, right mafia(s)?
Right!
SEARCHING FOR PRIVATE SILVER
I am the boss, yet many just won't admit it. How far from the old HUGHES AIRCRAFT COMPANY property have I been encamped since September, 2008, when rather obvious Russians wrecked my car? Pardon me, while I check Mapquest. Thirty-six (36) miles, they say. One thousand, eight-hundred sixty three to "The Loo," and all CA creatures now know I'm going to save paper and ask a nice Federal Judge to shut down the you know what for "further investigation." Haunted?" No, it's a lot more complicated than that.
Speaking of the "We don't like to write many tickets" vc County Sheriff, seems his & her counterparts in la County don't either. How did the deputies responding to my car wreck not write MS. "SHEEHAB" a ticket? Her vehicle was not on the wrong side of the road? My little Ford Focus was not on the right side of the double-yellow line? My car was disabled. Her BLACK Cadillac Escalade drove away. Who's going to jail over this? I know the location. I know the date. I know her name, and "Frank's" fake name as an added benefit. I had PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE. They had PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE. I've still got their policy number, but I couldn't recommend that company.
They "disappeared?" No, she came to the Goebel Senior Adult Center to...uh, sit down, having gained a few pounds, sculpted a new hairdo, and boys, that posterior is one to expire for. What did the DoRight Royal do? I opened my arms wide on the front patio as our Woody Allen-type swing band swung inside and said, "Gurl, what do you want me to do? I am not a spy." She departed with suspected Russian grandparents, and that was that, until I make it as the laziest President of the United States ever.
That is when I shall haul her ass into my office and say, "Give me a reason to not lock you up and throw away the key." Not going to happen? Didn't I love the "VISION" chartered jet (red & white) for what I termed a "minnow swap"awhile back? By the way, are we making a movie around here? Where's Jonathan? Seen him lately?
addendum:
$750,000 v. $750,000 + 2% of the net, and buddy, we can argue about the latter in NYC, but the check must be in the mail for the former. No? Oh, that's right, USPS won't deliver mail to me; something about U.S. presidents that don't like me. I'll just have to take their job, after I direct a movie, that is. Direct deposit, like the policeman? Is he still making Minimum Wage?Don't I love California? No, I don't. Could you lend me $50 to open a bank account? What are those Negroes at COMMERCE BANK saying to investigators? No investigation yet? No "mafia ride" for Hughes?
CHP, may I have a lift to Arizona?

12.11.2010

Job? What's That?

May I have a job? Unlike spies, William V needs a purpose in life, like seeing the president tossed in prison. No Marine salute and off you go to where you came from--an issue no one seems sure about. Prison I say, with the other Chicago mafia niggahs. Did I just violate a law? No. What was the deal last evening with: a) An "interrogation"; b) The Route 66 impression, and son, do you even get the joke?; c) A Hummer limo, as with the AUSTIN FILM FESTIVAL; and d) "Superhero" costumed rich kids in the limo? May I give someone a job, and then fire them?
What did the one you are all so obsessed with say regarding Austin (AFF) 2002? "Okay." What did Hughes say, NSA? "I'm getting depressed about all of this po-tential fame and fortune, so you're not coming with me." Is it normal for a female to just say "Okay" upon being disinvited to a film festival/screenwriter's conference? No. What did I think, mind readers? "I guess they were going to kill both of our asses again."

You want to be a spy when you grow up?
Seek psychiatric help--IMMEDIATELY.

12.10.2010

Rotary Drill Skill

Once more, I allege to the ROTARY CLUB's disappointment, I'm just not dead. Not yet. Don't you know my hughesforpresident.us slogans by now? "They show me everything," and be scared that it is morphing into, "They tell me everything," but do not come to a 20th Century type court and allege I know who "they" are. 7 a.m. breakfast? And now, a "middle school" is sponsoring another one? When? On the 1-6th? Are you nuts? So sorry, I'm not. Mafia Man's comment was, "I only have TOAST in the morning," and I did not ask what that meant.

Couldn't find me, eh? My only question regarding my missing status was it being either "Old School" spy crap like, "We conveniently can't find him" along with the other bums for a "free feed," or perhaps my absence was a little more "Buck Rogers."

Not important. Look to:
for more kingly proclamations next week, and know that Prince Charles has given the "Go" sign for activities that are for, as we said as kids in North Saint Louis, Missouri, USA, "For me to know and you to find out."
Paintball attack on the Prince of Wales? Why, they did that to me, too! "Coincidence?" Are you taking your medication, sir? Cool as a cucumber the Price was, while I have to wonder if Camilla has a background in acting. Quickly to another related topic, as "Sleepy" the computer shutdown creature is due, I do not have any auditory hallucinations, yet what did I hear out of the Vancouver, British Columbia Air Traffic Control system last evening?
PILOT: "Paranoid."
TOWER: "Good!"
The joke line? "That's Canada, so they won't get in any trouble."
Have a nice weekend.

12.09.2010

Me? Stop Joking? Get Real!



Hi girls! From bottom to top, I did enjoy that Grammy-winning "Get Out of My House" business Colvin, but now, I'm homeless, and you've been no help at all. Ms. Williams I worship, and not because she has the same last name as my POL SCI professor who taught me all about "elites," and dummies, both the far left and right have them. What's all of this "elite" business? Oh, I'm a Royal. How much is java at Starbucks? $1.50, $1.85, and $2.00. As one of the few pluses to Cali-fornia, NO TAX on coffee, but girls, that generally means NO TIP, and I'm not talking "spy code." Aguilera, we can talk it over when I remember how to spell your name. Here we go to the "fansite," to get it right.....The joke? "Any woman who makes an album with Tony Bennett, I'm afraid of, and I don't even know why."Girls, don't pay any attention to that kingly stuff on:

www.hughesforgovernorin28days.wordpress.com

ADD! ADD!

We have some, too? Is this permissible? Is this legal? I shall ring-up the head Negro.

Alright, what's annoying the Cali-fornia spies? May I make fun of you, as did me mum? And, big kook, know that you CANNOT "drive me crazy." Certain people may indeed "get in good" with the real Hughes by simply saying stuff like, "That Diana, she's crazy!" Thanks. Where did "PAT STIENER" go? Does anybody in this town have a real name? The whole County of Ventura? Nice to meet you, I'm "HOWARD HIGGENBOTHAM."
No? How about a story you all want to (not) hear, because I can write, and Howard could't. It's an early form of gene-splicing that involved sexual intercourse. No dancing, no singing, and I just explained to some old lady this morning it was buy a Bass guitar or build your own radio station, and I chose the latter. Not the real one? "My amp (never) goes up to eleven." It's a movie joke, morons!

America, What Don't You Understand About Homeless? (c)2011 William C. Hughes.

One, two, three...steal it! Ho, ho, ho, I have not written it yet. Could I interest New Yawk in Shame of the Sane or Gangster Nation (excuse me, I have a really nasty e-mail to send to the Secret Service).
zzzzz...zzzzz...zzzzz
Could someone wake Chuck up? He needs to be "Mirandaized." Running spies? Me? I don't know where "the guys" are, or what they are doing, and the whole old fogey center hears me say, almost daily, "I don't know." I'm lying? Bring on a Russian girl with some drugs. Or, fire-up mind reading devices. Did "George of the Jungle" Noory make himself useful last night? He did! More "lemons to lemonade!" I left the Go Bell "Computer Lab" yesterday with tachycardia because of a nasty device? Oh, I already know what it is, girls. Plugs & jacks...Hughes knows them. Underground power lines in Richie Rich's neighborhood? Never! Mafia(s), I want my AC power cleaner thingy back, as it was one of the best middle-class investments I've made. My vacuum tube factory in Eastern Europe we can get to later. (Don't mess with the man carrying a machine gun at the gate--he might shoot your ass).
To the "Paranormal from Coast to Coast Department."
Hughes is allowed to breathe, barely.
Hughes is not allowed to have sexual intercourse.
Hughes is not allowed to procreate.
Hughes is, as of 12.09.10 at approximately 1:30 a.m., no longer allowed to have an erection.
Natural rights? Constitutional rights? Civil rights? You non-humans and warped people are fighting a big war right out in the open, and, uh [the aviation "uh"] many know of this, but as my slogan goes, "They don't talk too much." A few words that were not mine? "Some of these people out here aren't human." He's ADD! That's the ticket to a Guardian/Conservator! He's ADD! No sir, I think the United States Army (St. Rita Avenue to the north), and the United States Air Force (St. Rita Avenue to the south)* thought my early campaign commercial ideas were funny, whereas now I want to know the identity of all foreign spies you bootlickers were running with. FBI was digging up Pine Lawn, Missouri? As my MAUI character says in #8, "Uh huh."
Here's the new one, shitheads:
See the aircraft carrier photo above? We wait for a windy and/or choppy sea day. (Never mind my barfing--I'll get over it).
A not-American-made jet approaches. UP with the AUDIO. Don't know what y'all say at the big jet-catching device, but I have <yawn> seen it in the movies. [Shameless promo: Don't you spies and unscrupulous fans of hughes screenplay #8 love CAPTAIN MALLORY--named after a capacitor company, super-sleuths-- and his "These people hate everything" lines? Is it snowing in Ohio? When are we departing? Never mind]

I think on the big boat it might be something like, "Oh no! Don't do that! Mates, he's in the drink, for real! Oh my God! Call the fire control guy, or whatever his title is! Aw shit!...yeah! Oh, f***! He did it!

[LOUD NOISES]

William V is seen yanking on cables & such, not his pud, right .mafia?

As the airplane gets dragged away, I turn to the camera and say, "Never had any interest in the Navy. Air Force was mentioned one time. Now, I'm running for president."

The UK PILOT strolls by and says, "What a screw job!"

I glance at him and say, "You got that right."

Face the nice, big, digital camera, William.

"And, you'd better get it right on November __."
GO TO BLACK

HEY UNITED STATES KILLER-BOY ARMY, CUCKOO-BIRD AIR FORCE, MAFIA NAVY, and LOWER THAN SCUM MARINES, what's that confusing graphic say?

HUGHES 2012
questions?
comments?
I have one, Gardner. When's the election?
cancelled by Nazis
no, it's not

For details, see Hughes v. Whitlock and Hughes v. Pless et al, filed in the feral, excuse me, Federal Courts, USA.