China Syndrome

PARIS HILTON in a pink dress? Key under the door? 7,000 square feet? My imaginary spokesperson has no comment.

ANDREW SULLIVAN must surely know I subscribed to The Atlantic before the policeman asked me why my credit cards no longer work. I've even sent unsolicited work to places like The Atlantic, with no hope of publication, and that was well before I knew of the HH thing.

Sullivan claims to know for sure SARAH PALIN is running for president. I am, too, but no one will ever say, as did MICHAEL WOLFF, regarding Palin at Newser.com, that my public speaking features garbled syntax, flubbed lines, and no one will allege I lost my train of thought. The latter, I discovered long ago, is the presenter's worst nightmare i.e. "Why am I here? What is my next line?"

Yes, spies and soldiers, I can do way better than that, but the RALPH'S cart is fine for now. Did MARC AMBINDER really say, again in The Atlantic, that Palin might, "Capture the popular mood more effectively than any other Republican."

Did you know I am a registered Republican as of 2008 in New Hampshire and that the ESP some cuckoo-birds think I possess told me it might stay that way? Stranger things have happened in American politics than Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, and Mitt Romney tied to the roof of my bus as if hunting for big political game.

Big game? H-man doesn't play games, except maybe Secret Service vs. Congress in softball, and I will get to play first base, not as some #1 editorial, but because I'm good at it.

How did JOHN MURTHA die? Why is GOOGLE fussing with China? Incommunicado in T.O.? Yes, sir. Hey, don't do that, because if you a**holes ever let me out of this town, I might end up serving as your next president. See the photo of Alf Landon? 523-8 in the only count that counts? Want "grandiose?" Maybe our .gov USA is so rotten, I could do better with a magic ingredient called TRUTH.