Tiger Talk: Is Sex Illegal?

Scuttlebutt deep within the public computer room at our modest and very temporary Hughes for President Headquarters holds that TIGER WOODS has lost all of his endorsements and has been pilloried for indiscretions that, in the H-man's opinion, were foretold by that big prenup agreement. "Chatter" they call it, and in a previous round of discussion, we covered how the spouse was in the proverbial win/win situation, because she's showered with cash either way.

Let celibate Hughes get this straight; he hits the golf ball straight, while she sits at home and does you-know-what with the cable guy? Now that females are patrolling with AK-47's looking for me, wait until I unveil my proposal to kick them out of the U.S. Military.

Drama! Drama! This I holler often in Thousand Oaks, so since "computer class" has been cancelled this week, I shall finish trying to get my butt sued tomorrow. Anything to achieve judicial process and get out of this "prison."

Anything--that is not a crime on my part, that is.