Just where is my F-15? I own them, don't you know? And, thanks to South Korea, I'm still making them. Hey, who took my National Guard F-15's away from the hometown? Hint: Some went to Hawaii, of all places. Are the Japs coming again? And if so, will Soldier Boy keep the air raid warning to his little "MI" self again? Let me tell you folks, nothing turns "conspiracy theories" into something plausible like a presidential library, which is why there are no "papers" in Reagan's, or George H.W. Bush's, and George W. Bush's library will be bare as Mother Hubbard's cupboard as well, because his Executive Order locked-up his, his daddy's, and Reagan's. But take heart, Ronnie does have an Air Force One out back that you can't see from the front of the library, plus it costs an extra fee to climb aboard. (On my old website, I hinted I might steal it, but no gov'ment agents came to call). So, I'd advise all National Lampoon budget-minded, mini-depression vacationers to skip the Reagan Library, and the librarians might agree, because with Mr. Hughes at the door, they came out and hung their heads in shame. Really, they did.
As I discovered at the Truman Library, aptly located in INDEPENDENCE, Missouri, when you have the original State Department cable in your lap, you can draw your own conclusions. What's better, since this is the USA, if you pay the fee, they will let you in the library. Really, they will. The trouble comes when you (don't try this at home, or the library) discover the whole national security shebang in your own country is illegal. This brings in the real gov'ment types, who in my case, oddly enough, were all smiles, because they've known it since 1947.
I swear I will identify the presidential or military secretary who on one sheet of paper numbered, as I often do, the reasons why the CIA won't work, and she was on to the illegal part as well. No date, no name, no signature, not even initials. Hey buddy, that was good enough for gov'ment work in 1946-47. Today, I'm afraid we'll have to "get real," and very bold, to clean up Dodge. Some of my perfectly rational proposals if I'm ever released from Torrey's open-air prison include selling-off Hawaii and annexing Israel. On the latter, as my fictional spy Rita says, "Don't start," because I challenge you to think of a better way to discombobulate Hamas and Hezbollah, plus never trouble Hugo Chavez for any oil, than to have our Stars and Stripes flying above the Star of David at the new Americanized Tel Aviv Department of Motor Vehicles.
In the Pearl Harbor Department, many bad things go on in Hawaii, like out of control spy brats having sex with rock stars in the back of their limousine. It was the final "green light" to murder John Lennon, and by the way, when is CIA Special Prosecutor John Durham stopping by? He'd better make an appointment, because I'm getting a bit busy trying to put governors and presidents in jail. Grandpa did the heavy lifting, but I've got no money and no troops, although I did see a New Hampshire creature I call a "hoody boy" this morning making sure I'm still alive.
Thanks for caring, and I'll keep sharing in between encounters with scallywags gone overboard with allegations I'm affiliated with the Cali Cartel somehow. Sorry to disappoint, but the only news I ever got from cocaine transshipment points was on the DEA website, and I know that in the Dominican Republic, baseball can be very, very good to them, except when as with ex-Cardinal Orlando Cepeda, you put cocaine the duffel bag and someone snitches on you.
When is the Grand Jury meeting? Where's my room full of lawyers? Oh, it's a "black operation?" How long have you been endorsing this delusion? How do I know the Lennon murder so well? "They" told me, you dumbass! "Hey, hey, NSA, why not follow a law today?! Can you see this with DJ William at the turntable and bullhorn? Do you no-life's really want to know someone personally who was spying on Mr. Lennon in Central Park? Do you really want to know about "secret code" Mr. Frank Zappa left on a backstage chalkboard in the old hometown about three years before Hughes muttered, "Who ever heard of a five-shot revolver?" Hey weenie, did you get introduced to all of the principals in the Lennon murder? No you did not, and you are not running for president, either.
Get a job! Punch the clock! Save 5-10 percent of your income! Buy a Japanese car! (made in USA), Change the oil! Do not spy! You will be happy! Please, if "they" kill me before someone makes a movie about me, will 'ya use, "My name is Hughes, and people tell me things" as the character motto?
Thanks.
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