Detainees? What detainees? Murder Inc.? Who will start the fight between me and Mr. Springsteen, "The Boss?" Me, him, or the bodyguards? Has that "Prince" in Minneapolis got a new name? Is the ERYKAH BADU story true? Can I strip in Thousand Oaks, CA? No, the policeman will get me. How about DEALEY PLAZA, in the Sixth Floor Museum?

Look out, here it comes...and will spineless hackers kindly stop putting a "j" on my screen? J = JOHN LENNON? I can't help it "they" introduced me to the whole assassination team; how's YOKO ONO doing today? Big .mil spook, eh? I'm running the Japanese out of Culver City, if 'ya don't mind. Oh, that's right, no one can mind their own business in "T.O."

Hughes does no crime, no spyin', and "they" don't even have any blackmail, "juicy" or otherwise, but please, next time I have sex in a hotel, don't tear it down to destroy the evidence. Or, you could put the famous PARIS HILTON video back on the Internet for free.

I still won't watch it, spies, but if Ms. Hilton wants to.....

I'm not too old for stunt work.

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