1.21.2010

American Ugly

I thought this movie was horrendous, but that is merely one man's opinion, right MafiaWood?


The Thousand Oaks "Spy Conveyance," in an earlier iteration. Today, they are green & white, and you can ride with confidence after they "switch" the 3 and 4 routes on you. As for the mind control devices on the ceiling, when they turn from black to white, does this mean something? Better check the D.C. subway--quick.

We proved in high school I am not a very good actor, and "straight man" Is not working either, because a twenty year career in the mental health business means you meet a lot of people, so when they start darting past you with a grin on their face in Southern California, having assumed some "other" kind of role, well I cannot help it if I start laughing. "My life is not a spy movie!" I often holler, so if I "blow your cover," do not complain, because when it comes to the thousands of illegal spies who got close to me during the "mental" years of 1991-2007, I would rather put you in jail, because we just do not have an MI-5 like in the United Kingdom.

Wanna rumble? Then it's a firing squad, because a guy with the same name as a fictional FBI 9/11-related hero was maybe right in late 1977 when he said, "You're just like Stalin. Conservative socially and radical politically." "Radical? Shut up, you big asshole," I believe I said way back then, but that was then, and this is now, as maybe, just maybe, the circus wagon is getting underway.

Yes, when the All-American Girl next door feels compelled to name-drop her agent's name, either Mr. Hughes is too close to Westlake Village, California, or someone is really going to raise a modest 40-60 million for a "major motion picture." Agent? I guess someone heard me when I said, "Feel the power of The Loo." I'm no genius, but it has become "code" when people point that thang at me and then say, "We've got a long drive." In the other direction, I am quite sure, they are "on the road," because there surely are a lot of cameras at LAX, right? Right! Plus, extremists of all stripes have probably posted what I call "sentries" at the gates. If TWA were still flying, they would have it made by pitching a tent or New Age-ish pagoda at my airline's gates. Remember the "Moonies"?...never mind.

As it is, the Mossad Man pays a visit by walking in and then out the doors of the senior center. What does that mean? I know there is a LED ZEPPLIN album titled In the Out Door, and come to think of it, the night shift stockers do it at the not-so-safe Safeway, too. I think I know a spy who f---ed JIMMY PAGE, but is that really useful information to anyone besides Senator McCain and/or Governor Palin?

No, it is not, but I can say, again with confidence, one of the best local bands I have ever seen (for free, too) was called JED ZEPPLIN, and they did parody covers of the Zep's songs magnificently. At that time (1979), someone named JANE was trying to have my ass killed, but failed in her tawdry "mission." Later, while working at the bank, when I heard a GRACE SLICK-less JEFFERSON STARSHIP sing, "Jane you're playing a game, but I play for keeps," on the radio by the EDS cubbyhole, I thought it might have something to do with me and my "Jane," but I am not a schizophrenic with "ideas of reference," I'm that Hughes, so "they" left the HUGHES off of HUGHES ELECTRONIC DATA SYSTEMS. You mean I was giving trays of checks to my own computer guy? As Ronald Reagan once said, "The bombing begins in....."

Wow! What "pull" I must have, and that was when I was working with a HILTON, so I am wondering if Paris is going to the KENTUCKY DERBY with me in May, fruit basket hat on head. No? It is the California State Word, and I can say it, too. Want something out of the HUGHES/BOEING/CIA/DOD/DADDY WARBUCKS, INC./SILICON VALLEY/OIL DRILLIN'/8-9 MILLIMETER FILMS, LLC/HUGHES FOR PRESIDENT 2012 Rock of Gibraltar? The answer is, "No!!!"

We're going on a year with no flossing, girls, and I am mighty pissed. Wanna sit in Talkheetna, Alaska for four years? It can be arranged, because you know the MO-MO MONSTER is coming, and how about this commercial, already as good as in jail St. Rita Avenue ARMY JAG? It opens with humble me at the tippy-tip of an F-15K nose antenna, hair down and intact, $2,000 Harry Truman suit on. The script?

"They never let me fly one of these, and I'm not very happy about it. So, I have a message for the USA."

CUT TO:

Oh, I'm quite sure the surviving AC/DC boys back home will give me the rights to "For those about to rock, we salute you" grind, and on the BOOM, I will be able to make some new shells for those "Reagan shelled Lebanon" boats, right? Right! So, go over the water fast, helicopter with the Panavision real live film camera pointed toward the big gun, and then, what do you see? That is between me and the mind-readers, but I can tell you the close of this one requires earplugs for the Hughes boy, as two engines on the other end of the aircraft ignite over my left shoulder and I yell, "I feel all better now!"

The Republican Governor of Minnesota wants to run for president? Who the hell does he think he is?

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