Dear Diary

Did someone fix-up my car after I sold it in 1979? Really? The guy who bought it said, "I knew you went to college, because your ad said, "'Runs well,' instead of, 'Runs good'." "Road Runner, the Coyote's after you." How long ago was Mr. Hughes being "pinged" by Road Runner and Rackspace? Try 2001 or so. What happened back then, right before my birthday? How about the kid in the UPS store who had never heard of the Lunar Excursion Module (LEM). "Were you even born in 1969?," I asked. The dumb look was priceless. Could Arnold's replacement blindly throw even more money at some already over-funded schools?

The problem is not with the school or teachers. Hint: We invented geostationary orbit at Hughes, and the boss is a bit miffed. To the handwritten diary we go:

01.02.10 6:26 p.m.

"On the way to STARBUCK'S, there was much speechifying about JACKS OR BETTER (1983), [and] STEGTON RESTAURANT (1976), where once again, I was forced out by the other cooks "disappearing." So, I drove a long way to work part-time, and the road antics began. The shouting, near auto accidents, throwing objects at my car, nearly running me off the road, and the THUG PARTIES in the parking lot behind IRWIN HALL. Oh, I just had to yell about HEAD EAST, A&M RECORDS, and my sealed copy of FLAT AS A PANCAKE which is in the truck.

"Save my life, I'm going down for the last time," would indicate to me in 2010 A.D. that the CIA as we've known it really latched-on the "breathless" and the asphyxiation murder method. The theme: WATER, WATERBOARDING, WATER SPRINKLERS, WATER BOTTLES, WATER TORTURE, water, water, water. The E.T.'s are coming to steal our water? Don't think so, Cuckoo-Bird.