Liar's Club

I’ll preface with a positive, like why did I recognize a VP of IBM in a news photo? Staring blankly at Mr. Hughes—it’s not just for Hollywood types.

I used to subscribe to The Atlantic, all spookies surely know, so let’s review their liar's club of advertisers, with a few tart real life comments.

P. 1: LINCOLN – Did a Ford really say, “The power windows don’t work?” As long as the door locks do, when the H-man rides shotgun. Liars!

P. 2-3: CHEVRON – Did the $8.00 per hour Chevron automaton really say, “Where does your money come from?” Why, from selling cocaine, of course. How else do you think I’m running for president! Further, did a homeless guy from Beantown tell me the Kennedy clan owns Chevron? If so, we gave it to them. Liars!

P. 4: AMERICAN AIRLINES – One of those Brazilian jobs with a Hellfire? I drove I-495, honey, right by you-know-where. Liars!

P. 7: AMERITRADE – Open an account today! Liars!

P. 9: CARTIER: My DOLLAR TREE watch ($1.08 with CA tax), keeps perfect time. Liars!

P. 11: ROBERT MONDAVI: The most dangerous drug of all, and 100% legal. Liars!

P. 13: SPRINT: May I have my minutes back? Liars!

P. 15: THE BALVENE: Scotland? Bunch of losers. And…liars!

P. 17: SHELL: The “Answer Man?” Did I really dip the big stick for Shell? Liars!

P. 18: BBC EARTH: One word, and so “cathartic”: Liars!

P. 21: PFIZER: Free drugs? Liars!

P. 25: MERRIL LYNCH: Did the Dow & NASDAQ really free fall the week I was without Food Stamps? Americans? Retire? At the time of your death, maybe. You’re in debt, big-time, buddy. Liars!

P.29: GE: Let’s don’t talk about my fridge at 30 Centre Street, agreed? Liars!

P. 31: ALTRIA: High ideals from booze & cig peddlers? Liars!

P. 35: VANGUARD: $3? $18? Six times as much? Can I put these asses in jail? Liars!

P. 42: SIEMENS: If I see that truck again, I’m calling the new Sheriff. Liars!

P. 47: THOMPSON REUTERS: Free world? This one stings, patriots. Liars!

P. 49: CLEVELAND CLINIC: Hmmm…the girl from Cleveland was a quiet type. Liars!

P. 52: TOYOTA: Black Scions, eh? What might Truman & Hughes have in common? Liars!

P. 55: ATLANTIC GREEN INTELLIGENCE FORUM: September 16? Liars!

P. 61: BOSE: Quiet comfort? Among babbling spies and number kooks? May one sit next to you on a long flight. Liars!

P. 62: JULIAN CARDONA: Photo Credit, dead Mexican drug thug. Truth!

P. 69: SOCAR OIL FIELDS #3, BAKU, AZERBAIJAN, 2006. Where? When? Who?