More of "The Troops" PAL-in talks about? No, it's "Special Ops" and CIA. They die too, needlessly and senselessly. Don't call the "Sheriff-Cop Combo," because I just told a roomful of people I am raising hell at Starbucks tonight--you all know which one, don't you?
This is the Royal Policeman. Spy? Are you crazy? I'm not. Terrorist? May I blow your ass out of court? Where's ALBERTO GONZALES when you need him? 
Can you believe the Conejo Recreation and Park District (CRPD) hired three Mexican thugs posing as gardeners to swing pick axes at my head while I used their Wi-Wi at the spot pictured above? And, leave it to old spookies to complain in saying, "What did you do to the shrubs? The new ones look terrible."
Joe Kennedy got his boys started in politics, now didn't he? With HUGHES, it's always a long story, isn't it?
The Iranians are getting rowdy, are they not? Why, our CIA's been right in there since 1954, eh? "Mr. A" hollers about destroying Israel on a regular basis, right? "Desert One?" Rescue? Please, Soldier Boy's avionics were better than that. Welcome to the show!
Where's the photo of me at age 19, looking just like this? The parents hollered all summer for a real short haircut, and I complied.
Where's my stock dividends, you robber barons? Mellon cut-off Hughes Tool Company? Like Howard would be permanently short on cash? Dosed with meth in 1986 I was, and saved by a house full of spygirls in Pittsburgh. Where's "Rod," their fearless leader? The girls said Pittsburgh was "retooling" as the steel industry evaporated. "Tool" jokes? Now, the joke is on you, my slutty ones.
Under siege by Negroes in Newbury Park, and for how long was that? 55 days? Born in the USA in 1955? Maybe, maybe not. 1956, say the spookies, but it could be "disinformation." And, what did "Jay" say at the front desk? "You should have complained earlier." Uh, I think it is called "Stockholm Syndrome." Take my affinity for black folks and torture me with it? Good job!
I knew this "mess" went back to WW I, and Hughes, brace yourself, because you are...right again! Meet the OVERMAN COMMITTEE, busy discussing Bolsheviks and radicals, when? That would be 1919, kids.
Is this man going to put the CIA in jail? No, Hughes will, when he gets a little jingle. How's that movie deal going?
I hate to tell you, but there has to be a law against radiating microwave energy through human bodies. The local cuckoo-birds like this one so much, they have little suburban sidewalk lights that look just like the microwave zappers. No law yet? Sacramento, get on the Hughes bus!
The FBI interviewed Ms. PAL-in where? Where was that? Oh, it was St. Louis, Missouri? Really? Are J. Edgar's swami's worthy of being wiped off the bureaucratic map? I say "Yes," and guess what, Thousand Oaks? I have a right to say it. President Hughes? The FBI is gone before I step off the inauguration stand, and that's a promise.
What? Where am I from? It's another inside joke, because Howard always said "Houston," and this one will always say, "Saint Louis." So, thugs, spooks, and provocatuers, ask away--it's free and "fun." Uh, fun for you, anyway.
Oh my Lordy, Hughes is bellowing, "Who's that cop pulling his hand out of his pocket?" He seems to "disappear" in subsequent photos as others rush in to help. In real 1981 time, I disappeared from the Student Union and went home. Jodi! Jodi! Was it the Capitol Times that told me Hinckley was in Madison one time, stalking a girly-friend of Foster's? Oh yeah, my new saying is, "I can do it too, and I can do it better than you,"--even with no money.
Dick Nixon's "double-peace sign" is big in Iran lately, and does Hughes know why? Of course he does, and that sort of stuff is on-the-record-only material, so attention spies & stalkers: Please back off, because I can call the local policeman, too.
It's always support the office and not the man lately, but that said, how did these people get in the White House? When I was in Washington, I "cased" the back door, because I can't figure how certain people get in and out of the building. Oh well, maybe I'll get a "double-double burger" at the In Out burger joint. Oh no, no "and" no "ampersand" (&), it's just "In Out," and "they" almost killed me there last Super Bowl Sunday. Why? Don' t know. Why not ask the E.T.-chasing bureau of the United States Air Force. Me? President? Air Force? What Air Force?
Look how sad the man looks. Grandpa, I'm the next generation of your pain. Sorry, we are discontinuing POTUS-approved "donut code" in favor of real above-ground leadership. Just in time, I might add.
What a cool tail on this Fokker 100! Can I have one for Christmas? Oh, that's right, my "gift" was just staying alive. As the legendary local "Bobby" said, "It's like they want you to pay them just to stay alive." Bobby, as we said in the N. County St. Louis 'hood, "You got that right!"
I did save a photo of the Delta plane! Make up your mind, intel nimrods! Was it Northwest, Delta, Nigeria, or Amsterdam? Two incidents? Full body scanners? What about full body pain from that garbage in space? Is there a secret colony on the ISS? Hey buddy, you're getting boarded when I get some cash. Star Wars? As we cried as spykids, "I didn't start it!" And, for the record, my man is from Liberia, where the soldiers come in the night and kill your whole family if they feel so moved. I'm glad I moved to Cali-forn-ia, thereby stopping this practice from becoming common in the USA.
A Maplewood, Missouri church is to be in a CLOONEY movie? How about when the whole force came out for the Hughes boy? "They know things" at the policeman's station, spies, and guess what? Your spooky conclusions are wrong. USAF trying to kill me? Why did Mormons believe the rantings of a schizophrenic? They ran 'em out of Nauvoo, Illinois, didn't they?
This is the place where my ex was held at gunpoint. Are we famous yet? Not yet? Aw crap, it's the same old stuff. Made it through Howie's birthday (12/24/2009), and now, the second most favorite "Kill Bill" date on the calendar looms--New Years Eve. Yes, it was New Year's 1988 for the Maf-IA one-way car ride, and you want to be me? Not many can make it a two-way ride, so if you desire to be me, you need strong medicine. How about New Year's 1996, when a spygirl's car got crashed on purpose? It's an old one, isn't it? Wreck the car, save the boy. Watch those insurance premiums, girls!
How did a Hilton work with me "under cover"? Getty? Ford? Moody? Now, I've discovered the "Morgan" is maybe that Morgan? Verizon, goin' to jail! Morgan Stanley, goin' to jail! How about the "Kennedy spy" trying to seduce a married man during the 1980 Democrat primary? They don' t miss a thing, and neither do I.
May I mount my horse and kick some ass? The king has a lance for a reason, I've learned.
Snow in the south of England? Do you have an ounce of humanity in you? When I saw this photo, I felt homesick. Yep, I've already got a "Kenya Problem" over the UK business, but I think dual citizenship will solve that. Hey, Maf-IA lawyers. Have you rushed to Lexis Nexis to see if that prevents me from running for president? No, it does not, you vile horse's asses.
Heeere's Johnny! No, it's grandpa. TOWER TEE spies, you know the story, don't you? I cannot hit a little ball with the face of a club that small, and I'd f--- up all of the clubs trying. (Like break them over my knee, as I did in 1989 in protest to "The Great Psy-Op of 1989.") Hey, I replaced the #8 iron, did I not? WHO PUT THE METH IN MY COFFEE? I'M NOT PLAYING GAMES. Will it be Altec or JBL speakers in the courtroom for a playing of certain master tapes, and what will be heard? How about a rock star yelling, "OBAMA, OBAMA" in 1991. Hmmm, 1991--a most interesting year for Mr. Hughes. Back to golf briefly, may I have some of Tiger's cast-off's. I am normal that way, don't 'ya know? Even AT&T likes me, and they don' t like him no more.
Meeting in Annapolis? You mean that place closed-down for a Unified Service Academy (USA)? See, I can do it, too. (Make up gov'ment acronyms, anyway).
Cloony, act right, or report for your free ride to a nation that ends in "stan." The in-flight movie will be Jet Pilot.
Bush and p-girl liked to play games like this. Who's the president? Sorry, I don't know. You see, I've been tortured in the USA really bad since 02/2009. I think it is some Negro who does not call a "terrorist" a terrorist who got elected. That's mighty convenient, or to use another Hughes-Leonard expression, "We'll see about that." And, when is CNN coming for real?
Traffic bad in Beirut? No wonder she said, "Who would want to go there?" Maybe she was there, with what's his name. Right, NSA? Right!
Long lines? Lost baggage? Man locked in the potty? Man on fire? Can't the Sky Marshal put him out, arrest his ass, and not create so much damn drama? Yes, you will get good service on HUGHES AIRWAYS, if spy-kooks would stop obsessing on blocking the airway in my throat. Keep quiet? I don't need a lawyer, really, just a live TV camera.
Is the transportation museum in Saint Louis County, Missouri ready for my goosey goose? Mafia! Maf-IA! How much? Just like Howard's question regarding his first casino: HOW MUCH?
What is this? Please refrain from killing me because I think I know. Meantime, ask Gannett.
What is this? A guy who looked like a Catholic priest? Super-fast sign language? "They're drinking baby blood in there," Hughes hollered to the surveillace stiffs, in a yet another very real Big Brother House. Can I go home now?
Cheerio-ooo-'s! What's it gonna be Crow? Talanya's or Cicero's? They won't kill you if you pick the wrong one. Me? I think the pizza is far better at the "T" place, and the atmosphere superior at the "C" place. May I continue breathing? Thanks.
How much is that fighter in the window? Are the Conejo Hills as ugly from the air? Am I dropping water balloons at the "Hughes Festival of the Locusts and Chili Cook-Off," or.....
Oh, NASA! Enhace to look like a face, enhance to not look like a face, right? May I go there and find out for sure? My weekly allowance should cover it, but Eddie Haskell can't come, as he might cause Apollo 13 type trouble, and we don't need that.
An ex-Marine skeptic on TWA Flight 800 is laid to rest, when? He died on 08/22/2001, whereas Hughes was supposed to die on 08/31/2001. What went wrong? Apparently, I've got a Cheney, too. May I overthrow the United States Government? No? How about I order a Grande Americano at Starbucks and finish HUGHES SCREENPLAY #8, formerly d.b.a. Poll Numbers? Whatever.....and Happy New Year to all.
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