White House Cases

Alright, Google, I wanted these photos in a different order, but given I'm lucky to be alive...

Alright, Secret Service pals, how did this happen? Is "Jay" at the hotel blaming this one on me? Jay is a moron, and ought to be deported. Okay? Thanks, fellas.

Here's my new ride, if you don't stop stealing from Hughes.

"Smoking," on the Best Value lot, are we?

You stole everything I ever accumulated as a middle-class stiff in one of these trucks, then the white spy delivered another one to a lot full of Negroes outside my hotel room. Explanation for the policeman, please? We're all waiting.

In the psychiatric literature, they are referred to as, "White House Cases." They are people--maybe mentally ill, maybe not--who have some sort of obsession with the office, or the president, or possibly the building, so they go over the fence, they try to get in, and typically, the uniformed Secret Service people scoop them up. Fly a plane at the building? It's been done before, remember? No, not 9/11/01, you idiot, a small plane that actually crashed way too near.

What does this have to do with me? What does the Commie-cast purchase of NBC and Universal have to do with me? Simply that extremists are buying-up what they can before I get to what is mine, and at this rate there won't be anything left save future oil revenue. Look for a call to turn off the spigot, a la 1973, going out to my buddies in Saudi, because you jackasses won't act right. Good and evil? Right and wrong? You've got not a clue, and I'm boiling-over angry. May I be angry and maintain 100% appropriate behavior? May I sell a screenplay? May I make a movie? FAA, may I learn to fly a big aircraft first? (Like 9/11 hijackers). May I put her on autopilot and tend to the needs of my famous actress passenger? Aren't you jealous? Yes, we'll be here until doomsday if you think I'll address that 9/11 mess off-the-record, Soldier Boy).

Meantime, don't dare call the local policeman, because he does not care, as long as the bank receiving his direct deposit does not fail. Are you aware that when I worked as a janitor--best job I ever held--during the Savings & Loan non-Reagangate scandal, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) left "the list" of failing financial institutions right out on the desk for Hughes to not avoid seeing? True! And, during that glorious first term of The Ronald, when refugee Cubans broke down our door and scared the wife, I didn't get the Bay of Pigs joke, but now I do. Where's George Schultz when you need him? Al Haig, the NSA has got the audio of CIA getting hissy because I called you "Al." Okay, General Haig, live long and prosper.

Did Hughes carefully examine the back door to the White House for "potential" (thanks, Russ) escapes like RMN? Yes, he did. Now excuse me, if I was unaware gate-crashers simply go in and shake the president's hand when they are not supposed to be there. Ah, but when, at least according to the Concord, NH "police spokesperson," an "Evil Witch" controls my destiny, maybe there is a "Dark Side" to even the Secret Service, and like car keys and cell phones here at the senior center, people do "disappear."

I must say the "mind games" have changed with Obama over Bush. The not-so-tall Texan went for air raid sirens, B-2 Bombers diving at my residence, and when the Marine One copy came at me on the Mobil gas station lot down the road from Andrews, I really did think, "Oh my God, Bush is going to kill me himself." But, the 'copter I've nicknamed "The Bumblebee" flew right over my head at the usual 200 feet or so, and fortunately, I've yet to learn how to dunk anything made by Sikorsky in a lake, like grandpa.

America and the world, I have no idea what "they" think they are doing, when the new library book little Billy Hughes checked-out of the Thousand Oaks, California library totally blows the horsehide off everything, because it is a balanced account by the guy who ran Hughes Aircraft while Howie was off doing legendary things. Me? I sleep under trees and await the arrival of a sea of satellite trucks when you all snap-out of your digitally induced hypnosis. I'm crazy? Do you read any non-fiction? The CIA looked into encoding "elevator music" with commands 50+ years ago, and you really think "they" never figured out how?

Oh my, Phil Spector may be in jail, and Michael Jackson may really be dead, but watch out for your rock 'n roll hootchie coo, because I think I know what music was my induction trance for the great and mighty "they." So please, no more presidential body-doubles, no more double-double cheeseburgers, and yes, I can run a business, I can fly the airplane, and I sure as f*** would do a better job than Palin.

Is this imaginary microphone on? Amateur politicians, always make sure. Was there really a big CNN van parked next to my car outside of Washington, D.C.? Yes there was, and that's exactly why I dump my digital camera card on to public computers so all of the spies can see it is true. As for the "CIA Plane," later identified as a Daussault product, cute spygirls did indeed hide & guard the aircraft so I could not take a photo of it. Revenge? If I can ever make a movie out of my script titled II, history will repeat itself as I do the stunt in the Falcon, only unlike grandpa, I will not crash the plane. I think...I hope I won't. Hollywood, stay tuned.