Why?

Where was this photo until recently? And, I hate to get all "Aviator" on 'ya, but where are the airplane wings? And, Mr. Hughes is still wondering where those big engines went at the Soldier Boy's Pentagon. They "vaporized," because the fire was so hot? No, the scientist guy who questioned the WTC's unlikely collapse was fired and his career ruined. Did I get a layoff notice? Am I living out of Ralph's Cart 729? The facts speak for themselves, sometimes, and I dare say it is all of the time if you are rational and not a spy. Oh, so that explains why California is so nuts, and I'm not. As I say often, "They live for their spyin'."

Do you all remember JOHNNY CARSON? How about, "It's so cold in California this Summer, the hookers have.....[fill-in the blank]. You have to be of a certain age to remember Carson's glory days, but as a Watergate Baby and not yet troubled by Dementia person, young CA hooligans make me look better all of the time, and possibly better bred than that "other" William, who, if you'll pardon the expression, reportedly knocked-up his girlfriend.

Excuse me, I am truly a rude American, and I'll get as rude as the judge will allow, when you a---holes answer some questions in court, like the more amazing "why" questions:

1. Why was Richard M. Nixon standing before me smiling broadly? (and rather unexpectedly).

2. Why stroll by with the "football?" (Too close for comfort).

3. Why was I kicking back with Eugene McCarthy? (Did I really ask that question of the Senator? Yes, I did).

4. Why an Air Force One tire inspection? Doesn't somebody else do that who gets paid?

5. Why George W. Bush close enough to toss a rock, and...hey, I did not!

6. Why a B-2 Bomber diving at the humble abode? Just in the neighborhood?

7. F-15's falling on the noggin'? Can I have one? Please?

8. Chatting it up with George McGovern? And we both lived?

9. Why was Marine One after me? Run! Run! (not)

10. Why a Space Shuttle flyover & sonic boom? And, for the record, I was not talking to myself when I said, "Jesus! I haven't heard that since an F-4 did it!"

11. Why was the Popemobile blacked-out? Oh, now I "get it" (I think...I hope).

12. Why a set of Gray F-15's trimming the trees in Turner's backyard? I heard them coming, and the radio tower they almost hit is now a Christian pap station? No more commercial classical in The Loo? We'll fix that quick, if I ever figure out who "we" are.

13. Why "ditto" Rush, at the Presbyterian Church in Thousand Thieves with a C-130? The spygirls already told me what naughty Soldier Boys are using that plane for. Did you have to put my motel room number on a flight deck instrument read-out? Not right! But, momma was wise to suggest looking at the photos. (Me? A spy? May I read unclassified material, like The Economist, and unlike John McCain, understand what they are getting at? It's no "secret" USA & UK be broke, is it?

14. And lastly, why a Barack Obama body-double in the McDonald's drive-through? It was really him? Only a White House gate-crasher would know for sure.