Entertainment Tonight

This woman is NOT Lindsey Lohan, and apparently, whoever this was/is hired an attorney who has an invisible tinfoil hat on, which he is adjusting for better reflectivity. Do I have facial recognition and stuff? Are you a drug dealer eating a big basket of burgers while I starve? Uh huh. Oh, you didn't know that? What's in that newspaper rack? The Ithaca Times? Grapevine? I was famous once in New York, but I don't sprint to planes that might...you know...encounter certain difficulties, and as for Sprint the phone company, we're just not talking about that. Not today, anyway.

This is the REAL Lohan, who was at Carl's Jr. @ CONEJO VALLEY PLAZA on what day, Mr. new Sheriff, every bit as corrupt as the old Sheriff? Oh! Christmas Day, 2009. Yes, Disney Corporation, where everything neo-Nazi is trademarked, copyrighted, and lil' TM'ed, right? Right! Can you ABC 7 jackasses spell C-A-U-G-H-T? "Just off the ticker"......now wait a second, fellahs, these jerks are stealing hughes screenplay #8 in real-time as I type the damn thing!!! Never fear, Hughes, as at least one razor sharp producer has figured out, as did Mel, that Springtime for Hitler is no good for all allegedly normal humanoids, and my life story is surely worth a great deal more than my Jimmy Stewart movie ending spyin' chick flicks. Did I just call my blood, sweat, and tears a "chick flick?" Right now, it's lucky to be on a...what? HANNAH MONTANA compact disc [oh, the irony!], and just yesterday, I reminded a producer's idiot relative the CD's "premier" was in 1983, well before his mom & dad got down to what all Hollyscummywood people like to do--a lot.

As for me & Lodown girl, even our damn United States Supreme Court, a.k.a. Hughes' pen pals know of the "What the f*** are you doing here?" lip-reading and goo-goo eye drama. Drama! Drama! The Thousand Oaks/Westlake synthetic creatures demand it, and Hughes delivers! As for silently fussing with the current president during a State of the Union address, this is above my "NO SECRETS" clearance level, but reliable sources tell me some actually have cash & credit to go shopping on Friday. [legal disclaimer: "Black Friday" is a registered media shibboleth, and Mr. Hughes neither confirms nor denies we Ahmuricans are all going to be living in shantytowns as the Chinese drive big Hummer limos].

This is not me getting "in"/"out" Burger relative to the airplane as: a) That man has short hair; b) That man attended the cuckoo-bird Mormon-infested Air Force Academy, a model for your delusional Star Fleet Academy of Cali-fornia; c) Bob Gates cancelled that airplane, so it's not there anymore, is it? Deefense shareholders, I think he really did cancel a few "big ticket" items, so perhaps I will not seek to put his lying ass in jail.

We move to adjourn for Turkey Day, but first, QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"Thanksgiving? Ah, that's no big deal."

- Coffee, What Coffee? Man

"I don't want to look in there."

- Named After A 1970's Car Stereo Girl

"Looks like you got your Midwestern weather!"

- The Northrup Mutt Walkin' Man

"You tell 'em."

- King Louis of France

Hughes Thanksgiving Lunch Menu:

$1.00 DOUBLE BURGER ("they" add the cheese for free. I do not ask or pander for it)

[FRENCH FRIES] Not likely, as you know who, or perhaps her body-double said, "Got to stick to the budget!"

COFFEE [may I take a few extra sugars without being placed under arrest? Homeless America, please save your receipts, because the presidential demon may be a 666 "front man" for some type of warped National Socialism, and who better to "fool 'ya" with that crap than a.....black guy? This isn't a problem? I did enjoy that web page with a Lindenwood College girl pictured as Obama's mom. I saw it, it was real. Did spies run to Kenya and my g'ma's hometown near The Arnold's birthplace to "check it out?" Yes, and they reported back on grandma, not POTUS-momma. Need to know, need to know, need to know. Even I get that, and I ain't spyin']