Unreal News/Wrong Planes

Oh, I did not attend college with a guy by the same name as the current Saudi King?

GET REAL!!!

Don't you hate it when you need to call your oil company from a pay phone, wrapped in a dirty blanket the senior center staff gave you as "consolation," after a German lady and a member of the cleaning crew teamed-up to steal your backpack? And, not right, or legal, when the police call is to a "fake" 911 Center. Police report? What police report? Don't holler "E.T." or "Vampire," I just knew not to pursue it, because "Deputy Jeff" had a plastic 9mm pistol and no last name or badge number. That was a real gun? Who's goin' to jail? Disney, Sony, or Universal?You can't paint-up Thousand Oaks police cars and drive around, because if you can, I'm going to do it too--kind of like the fake homeless who do not feel compelled to see the DMV and put license plates on their vehicles. Must be nice, and an economizing practice when fake homeless.

"You can call me anything you want, but don't call me a rodent." Who said it? [ANSWER REDACTED BY LIGHT BEINGS FROM FLYING TRIANGLES] Did I mention it was frost on the Mike Bush "tender vegetation" cold? Or, was that suicide pilot weatherman Mike Richards who used to say that? (You must know your St. Louis weathermen & Weathergirls). Frost in Southern California? Must be the end of the world, given everyone suddenly wants to talk religion. Blow another Catholic POTUS head off? Sorry, as Charlie may have anticipated this.

Did I make the call to 800-374-2469? No. Yeah, there may be 2,093 oil wells pumping that are mine, but the real action is with pumping me for information. Spies, I'm getting near mute, due to your incessant stupid-assed crap, and besides, I have a firm policy regarding not talking to National Socialists. Without an indictment or two on the way headed for them. Oh California Cuckoo-Bird, you will wait a long time for the "gov'ment" to come for me, because even one of your crass nutcase spies said, "Who are all of these people running around here?"Might be a secret organization, sir. We/I won't speculate further.

Did ABC TV invent the "instant replay?" The "secret code" is: 14716071. (CRUDE CRYPTO KOOK TRANSLATION: "One for 'seven one,' lock them up, seven one."Uh huh...and DELTA CONNECTION Flight #4951 was piloted by a "Jack Con-royd?" A Bombardier aircraft that does not exist? As Gomer Pyle said, "Gooooolly." Was that "con an android?" What did you say? You talkin' to me? Why am I on the wrong side of the continent for Stewart & Colbert's rally? Did you say life is fair?

Wrong!