"Puzzle Palace?" This Beats Bamford By A Country Mile




What did the grossly obese Pro Wrestling fan "Puzzle Man" say as he was lying on the floor waiting on EMS? "As Bill, he's easier to manipulate." Puzzles in Granite City, Illinois and Thousand Oaks, California? In Illinois, the puzzle boys were either Seriously Mentally Ill (SMI), on street drugs, or both. In Cali-fornia, they drive a TOYOTA 4 RUNNER or a LEXUS ES 300 and call me names that should be responded to with what in my (not) misspent youth we used to call a "knuckle sandwich."

Seen that Star Trek franchise? Someday, I'm getting the full DVD set (or whatever we're storing images on) to watch Shakespearean actor guy John Stewart say "I am Locutus of Borg." Wow! Feature film movie production values on my little 19 inch RCA color television set at 11019 Mollerus Drive, the address of mine the United States Government won't change, but they did assign me an IRS Tax I.D. Number to run my little political puppet show, which all spies on Earth know already. Regarding Captain Picard's plight, as I often say, "I was almost scared."

I was not scared, however, I was happy when a real Paramount exec wrote a detailed e-mail to me about intellectual property that, like many of your homes, is still on the market. Something about a "recession." Where's the computer with that baby on it? As for the guy with the extra drives on him you did not know about, I have one question. "Has he crashed his plane lately?" Son, you just are not me, but I think a producer might hire a better-looking fellow to play me saying, "You crashed your plane? Sir, it might have something to do with me." What did he say, spies? "Oh I tried this, and I tried that, but my darn plane crashed into some trees." "Sure it's not my computers?," asked Hughes (that's me). "Nah," he said. What's the "visual" joke, borg boy? He's in a near full body cast. Now that's "Taking one for the team," and so totally St. Louis.

My invisible Gulfstream 850-chasing lawyers have advised me to call the Bridge-ton, Missouri policeman, unless they've expanded the airport with no hub once more, right "Kit?" (R-MO-OUT-ON-HIS-LAZY-ASS). Oh, let's get further St. Louis local(izer).Did I not hear them whine "White Elephant" regarding Metrolink? When? 1987-1989. What happened? Cha ching! The "Loo" is a real city after all, and they could not expand light rail fast enough. Got an argument? Call Charlie Brennan on KMOX ("The Mighty Mox") because Mr. Brennan has a job, whereas I sleep in culverts, or concrete when I figure out I'm paying, in part, for your silly spyin' park.

Packed the trains were, no white or pink elephants at all. And, given the human conductor does control the train, when Mr. Lockheed said, "Take the Metrolink," I really did think things like, "Am I back in Switzerland?" "Could this thing tip over?" And, "My, my, we're really boogie-ing." Yes, I thought that in the "Redbird Express," with only H-man and a few nonchalant Negroes testing how fast the train could go.Don't believe my stories? First, there are millions of blogs on Soldier Boy's Internet for you to choose from, and additionally, I sat at the Metrolink crossing more than a few times behind BARNES JEWISH HOSPITAL, and, as an added bonus, I f***ing worked there! Yes! Ask Jim H. about how the judge and I put you on the private BJH psycho ward, even if you were in fact the Spuds McKenzie Girl dancing on the left.

Clayton, Missouri policeman? So in jail!!! Three...two...one..."He's crazy!" Aw, even ATC is rotten, so how about, "Line up and shut up!" Oh yes, JFK, you too. Proving California negatives for two years? What do I mean? "I am not crazy." "I have the right to not talk to you" etc. etc. etc. And what does John Voight's daughter have tattooed on her back? "KNOW YOUR RIGHTS." BONUS KOOK CHRISTIAN/E.T. CHASING STALKER Q: What was the name of my Rosary High School "Theatre Nun?" Sister Jolie.

Let us, as my slogan goes, "Get real!" "Secret" prisons? est. 1973. Mind reading from space? Ready to roll in 1979. Do you smell a rat? Might be olfactory fun from satellites, operational in 1989. Folks doing some anti-grav jumping, like a Flubber movie? Also ready in 1989. By 1994, the lovely Aimee Mann was in her Mercury program-ish spacesuit and looking plenty crazy. Is that when this CIVIL WAR/STAR WAR/WORLD WAR started?I would not know, but I can speak a line ripped-off from Keynes: "We're all Republicans now." And, I could add, "If the Democrats want to act like that."

Is he still there? Mr. Nappy-head? Is Joe Bidin his time? Allow me to relate something to puzzle boys that is true and 20th Century court-ready. I used to, as David Letterman has often said, "Like my beer," and this is no secret, but do not say the "A" word around me, or I'll shoot back something like, "What's an AA Group? [Officer Reese, may I answer my own question? Thanks] "A bunch of drunks trying to rationalize their next drink." How about the Cornell U. "Drunk on the job" bullshit from an ass who "lost" the 9/11 hijackers in Thailand? Ten minutes of interview, forty minutes of, "Do I have to sit here to keep my job?" Judge, what did the guy say? "You can go now." Follow-up? None, because you spies are all natural-born liars, and Royal Boy is fixin' to cut your heads off. "Did you ever serve in the military?" No, the DNA leads militaries.

Kids, how do you stagger out/Inn for more beer on Friday night, but upon arrival at the convenience store, the "Blue Law" chains are on the brew, and it's Sunday morning? Officer Krupkie, did I ever sober-up fast and stroll back to 420 West you-know-where. Kooks & crazies, prrresent arms!

Where did it fall? What year? Oops, now he knows, can't shut-down the .net.
What year was grandma born?
Not that year, the other year?
while I have another cup of coffee

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