Hi Oh, Tower(s)!

Hi oooh [CRASH-ZZZZZIT-PHHHIT]...are we still on the Internet? Hello? Seems I was so pissed today, I scooted to the east side of my favorite public building, because I thought the guy who might help was "Just Another Thug From LA." Isn't that an old Zappa album? Is The Economist keeping me sane? Yes. Is it an English publication distributed out of Saint Louis, Missouri? Yes. Of all the gin joints in the.....

Word Press blog no workee? Welcome to the new, as soon as I get around to it, HUGHES FOR WARD ENFORCER.blogspot.com site. Mountain View, can you keep from peeing in your pants?May I listen to ATC audio? May I defecate indoors? May I keep trying to sell my intellectual property? May I curse at drugboys, thugboys, gayboys, and threaten to invade Mexico if I made president? Thanks. I think they might already be worried in Lima, and I'm not talking about Lima beans, as smart munitions just keep getting smarter, and that may have something to do with the price, not of eggs, but of a gram of cocaine. Did I mention I hate that stuff? How about 2-3 thousand dollars a gram under the Hughes Administation? You might quit your habit, because son, I'm not playing out here.

What did I shockingly find out last evening, and it's why I will not campaign for anything but a movie deal out of Thousand Oaks, California? First, that the local high school grads will indeed sneak up on my open notebook and try to read it while I am in the restroom with no mirror, of course. Ready for this, America? Hughes decided to "teach class" as punishment for peeking at the notebook. Are you sitting down, teacher? Five of five 18 year-olds did not know who won the U.S. presidential election in 1976. That's right, they had never heard of Jimmy Carter.

Moving on to 1980, and perhaps more "amazing," in a bad way, only one of five knew of former California Governor Ronald Reagan's new job following his Sacramento gig. Had they heard of Howard? Only via The Aviator, and I'll swear in any court that when I took off my hat, pulled back my hair, and gave them the real version of that DiCaprio on the DVD box look, they all scampered out the door. Not scared, but possibly convinced.

Recent history? They had heard of 9/11, but not one had cracked the cover of a 9/11 Commission Report, which I recommeded they read. What did I say in late 2004 and early 2005? "My book will be lucky to be published by the 10th anniversary." Ancient history? How about Watergate? It's a street in Westlake Village, right? Mouths wide open as I found out they did not know about Gerald Ford's short duty as president, nor that Sprio Agnew resigned over stuff all politicians do today, except me. Hell, according to most CA kooks, with my pot farms, LSD labs, meth enterprise, and freighters full of cocaine, why ask for "dibs," or a "cut" on lousy road contracts? Nelson Rockefeller? They never knew he was pressed into Vice President duty, but they knew he was a rich guy--natch. Vice Presidency vacant twice, and the world did not end? I guess you had to be there and see the look on diverse faces of our West Coast multi-cultural Hitler Youth. I said, by way of constitutional explanation, "When Agnew resigned, Nixon appointed Ford. When Nixon resigned, Ford appointed Rockefeller."

Did any horseflies fly into those open mouths, principal of Thousand Oaks High? Not that I saw. Whew! I didn't dare tell them grandpa's million bucks started the whole thing, or they might have called the cops. Too late, kids, as I think Howard may have tipped-off security guards at the Watergate to look for distinctive tape on the "burglary in progress" doors of the Democrats office. He helped start Interpol, which is an international police agency, not spy movie stuff, like you morons probably think. I'm "obsessive?" May I find out what kind of tape? Masking tape? Electrical tape? Duct tape? Surely not Democrat Donkey, standard issue Scotch tape! I'm fussy for detail like that.

Now don't steal more red billiard balls; there may be tiny cameras in here. And, can you big, lousy, f***ed-up, lying, worthless, maybe not entirely human assho-es stop continually making me wonder where stuff ran off to, like NTSB AAB-02-02? "Just go straight ahead...doesn't make any difference what direction that is. Just go straight ahead."

Tower, those are words to live by.

No comments:

Post a Comment