Watch The Stuff, William

All over ahmurica, they're lining-up for their "crazy checks," and I predicted the rush in...oh 1996 or so. Job? What are you talking about? Speak "Obammy-ese," or be left out in the cold.
Oh Shire Reeve, it seems me car was wrecked by Russians on the 17th, and me backpack was stolen by Germans on the 17th, so what will I do on December 17th, 2010. "Watch the stuff, watch the stuff....." What is my new theory on the U.S. presidency? It is a matter of watching the stuff. Any nukes "missing?" Let us agree to not talk about it, okay? Putin, shut the f*** up, okay? Why? I might have some "friends," even though I don't like them much.
No? Who's e-mail is the first one in my Yahoo! box? Bill Clinton? I'm a Republican now, you lousy land swindler! But by all means, have a nice day.
TOWER: "Do you see the airport yet, sir?"
PILOT: "Uh, not yet."
My fellow ahmuricans, do you really want to be on that plane?

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