6.08.2010

.38 Caliber Metaphor


How about those apartments in the background? It's almost like they know what I'm doing.

St. Louisians know WELLSTON, so all unschooled spies & soldiers had better run to Google or Mapquest for further information. What does it mean? What is the "secret code?" "Well"-"S"-"Ton." What does that mean?

Nothing, you idiot! I'm trying to tell a metaphorical story, like I went to a better college than Lindenwood. I believe the year was 1970, and I was taking the bus to NORTHWEST PLAZA with two buddies named "Stan" & "Jim." As the bus pulled-up in Wellston, a black guy about our age (14 or so), pulled a gun on us. This, I believe, was the first of what have been dozens of what this Hughes calls "Gun Displays," with only one blank discharged so far.

Stan, smaller of the three, alighted the bus instantly, while Jim, a consummate dumb-ass, started backtalking the gunman. I said, "Shut up!" and pushed him up the steps of our diesel fume belching Bi-State Redevelopment Agency bus. Turning to the young black gunman, I apologized with a snub-nosed .38 pointed at me by saying, "I'm sorry, I don't know what the hell is the matter with him." I then boarded the bus, and the fact I am still alive has nothing to do with ESP, vampires, or E.T.'s.

Nope, it has much more to do with remaining cool in a crisis. The guy in 1970 did not demand anything, he simply wanted to scare us, I suppose, as did George H.W. Bush's Uzi Men in 1986. Given all of the close scrapes with presidents and would-be presidents, I wonder if the black guy with the gun was BARACK OBAMA. Bottom line: You don't want to be me, son, and if you do, you are surely nuts, not me.

No comments:

Post a Comment