DSM IV-TR DISCLAIMER: Many have accepted the alleged reality of cattle mutilations, E.T. abductions, flyin' triangles, and so forth, but I have no life-extension product to sell on Coast to Coast AM--a radio show that makes money while I don't. Granted, the 9/11 attacks as high-tech holographic projections may seem far-fetched, but it does not mean I am "crazy." It means I own the technology that could have done just that, and you don't.
No eavesdropping, no spying, but I had to ask, "What is a Starbucks marriage?" So used to answering my own questions, I offered a definition to the effeminate male barista, who nodded and said, "Yeah, it's like that." Can I make a bumper-sticker that says: GOT ANOMIE? Would they even get the joke? Never mind; let's instead hear it from 16 year-old singing sensation MILEY CYRUS, who upon logging-off Twitter for good, told her blogospheric fans, "I just think kids all over the world could use a little vacation from cyberspace."
Amen! But wait! What new Bildeberger, Vandenburger, McDoodleburgher, or God forbid, Hughesoise insurrection is brewing? (Cue the dial-up connect to .net sound). Did somebody really tell me the debris hauled away by the Port Authority in--Mafia! Mafia!--New York City did not match WTC Reese's pieces?
Hold that tiger, Big Apple! Who among you actually saw someone die on September 11, 2001? Wanna call me "crazy?" Here's some good material for you, because maybe the World Trade Center towers are sitting in the desert someplace in Egypt (bagel man), or the United Arab Emirates (Hilton in a 65 Mustang? Way cool! And, she went there! Fairview Heights, Illinois, too!).
Got a spare satellite? I don't, at the moment, but Boeing jets (Boa man), great balls of fire ("visiting firemen"), loud noises (USAF knows I love them), and a big pile of plaster might not have been what you and the rest of the world thought. Can I get a lousy tee shirt that says, "Psy-Op Veteran Since 1974"?
What's that I said in August, 2008 to my 07 Ford Focus bugs? "There appear to be repeater stations of some kind along the Interstate disguised as little cell phone towers, but damn, I gotta pee." How bad does this get? Did a former Arizona governor really think he saw "Flyin' Triangles" in the sky, then he was tossed in jail? Wow! Nothing illegal about the 2008 Aviation Week "white world" roundup, to wit:
1. LAUNCH DATE: 12/08/2004. ESSAIM (4) EADS ASTRIUM/DELEGATION GENERAL POUR/264 lbs./ARIANE 5G/LEO, SUN-SYNC
2. LAUNCH DATE: 06/26/2006. MITExA/MITExB/USA 187&188/ORBITAL SCIENCES CORP. - DARPA/LOCKHEED MARTIN MISSILES & SPACE - DARPA (USA)/550 lbs./DELTA 7925/GEO.
3. LAUNCH DATE: 03/09/2007. FALCONSAT-3/US AIR FORCE ACADEMY (USA)/101lbs./ATLAS V/LEO.
HUGHES "ANSWER KEY":
1. Who shot J.R.? JOHN LEE SMILEY? "Smiley's People?" I do not read spy novels, but I had heard of Smiley a month prior to this launch when I was hollering about a murder so cuckoo it made News of the Weird. Leaving tracks on Soldier Boy's "Talon Logs"? "Able Danger?" Good night! Thanks for coming to the show!
2. What was that launch date? "Six to one o-six?" DARPA? I thought Congress busted them up. How could I know they migrated to the National Security Agency (NSA) and formed little cabals? It's not hard; as an old Volvo driver used to say, "Pay attention!" NSA hires guys with pony tails? What did they think of my on-line application? Is that why PENSKE won't give my stuff back? I kept a copy of it.
Did you all savor that GETTY IMAGE of my AT&T Model 710 telephone hooked-up to a computer and test gear set-up within Fort Meade's inner sanctum? Secret? It was on a newspaper's web page, and don't ask me which one! Measuring capacitor decay, boys? "Marking" my phone's individual signature? Thanks, I owe 'ya one, I think. [My Getty-girl was none too disguised with her real last name and worked as a waitress, but I did not go home with her like the WARREN ZEVON song lyric. As for the "with the Russians" part, who knows?]
3. POLISH FALCONS--DASSAULT FALCON--AIR FORCE MORMON 101 POUND FALCON. What does this all mean? Flyin' triangles! Flyin' saucers! Take cover! Tune to MSNBC immediately, and RACHAEL MADDOW will provide E.T. fighting instructions. No? How about RUSH LIMBAUGH? No worries about "digital hypnosis" on that long wave AM radio, right tea baggers?
You know I'm right!