Donut Tossing Days Are Here Again!

Tossing donuts at various BUSH-CHENEY "Workmen-Hitmen." Those were the days.

When was the last time I watched the Channel 2, 4, 5, 11, or 30 news? Let's don't talk about it, because it seems like eons ago, but less that three years in what the spies might call "Dog Years." Instead, I'm wondering where KATHRYN JAMBORETZ went. [The magic of Soldier Boy's Internet! From KPLR to KTRS, to CHARLIE DOOLEY'S press spokeswoman! Kind of "media promiscuous" for a Nerinx Hall girl]. Melanie Moon and Dan Gray are still on Channel 11, but with FCC mandatory mind control digital, does the "channel" even matter anymore? May I run for president, please? Not yet? Okay, I'll sit in Carl's Jr. with an unemployed actor, like I'm supposed to.

Working late...always. Did I have a "bodyguard" from the Children's program when I worked late in Creve Coeur, Missouri? How about that goose poop on the parking lot? Was that supposed to be a joke? Those critters were mean; Canadian geese they said, and don't worry Barack, I think I'd rather burn down Ottawa first. "Uh, Houston, what did the Canadian National Security Man say...say again, please." What he said, in front of four uniformed witnesses was, "Now Hughes, don't go buying-up Canada." Secret agent? Vampire? Undercover E.T.? California, you are like an old M.A.S.H episode--Hawkeye (me), just can't help you, and Col. Flagg has disappeared, per usual.

How about the Creve Coeur tornado? The staff said, "You were in the office?" Were James Bond movies really about grandpa Howard, because I recall saying, "The lights blinked, and I heard something, but I had work to do." Touchdown! At a car dealer about a half-mile away, that is. Sirens? Who gives a rat's ass about tornado warnings when you're behind on your Medicaid billing, right Governor Nixon?

Former Governor Blunt should know as well, a Hughes always has a plan, and mine that late afternoon/early evening was to go to the Medical Records Room that was in the center of our one-story, no basement building, cover myself with crrrrrazy people's medical charts, and hope for a minimum of glass shards and objects that might impale me.

Hey, DAVID L., remember the time I locked myself out of "The Annex," and walked to...where? The mighty mysterious AMEREN UE power station, where I called the crisis line to find you. All concerned acted really strange, and oh Lord, now I know why.

Confucius say, "Never work that late when trying to get Little Debbie back in the hospital," because I sure know now NORMA wouldn't lift a finger for additional reasons besides taking the cake as the laziest bureaucrat I've seen in my entire life. Debbie, who liked to get "suicidal" and yank my chain, really did almost die--no canned ham--when my boss Rob was holding the fort. You see, a Hughes is never "on vacation," but spies seem to like their cruises, time-sharing, and amusement parks. America, U.K., and all ships at sea: I AM NOT AMUSED.

Not at all humored, because Debbie never yanked what may have been alleged to have been yanked, I never patronized the daughter's massage parlor, although as with Jimmy Carter's lust, I will admit I thought about it, no biracial children were transported sans car seat, and I did not kill the "Sugar Daddy," but I did muscle-up and insist her psychiatrist who hailed from The Philippines, and was making a fortune off this particular mess, be fired. Rob backed me up, and as the Treasury Department knows in relation to banks, gov'ment giveth, and gov'ment can taketh away.

Is Missouri Secretary of State and senatorial candidate Robin Carnahan still single? (That's a joke, son).