ECON 501

My "Dear Economists" e-mail--ain't the Internet a wonderful invention?

This is not a chain e-mail from a Nigerian man seeking money. I am WILLIAM C. HUGHES, Howard Hughes Jr.'s grandson, and I AM THE MONEY. Odd that I am currently homeless and living out of a shopping cart with two book manuscripts, a new book proposal, eight feature-length screenplays, a sequel to #8 brewing, and everything I ever owned as a "secret" middle-class U.K. Royal held hostage by U.S. Government-approved gangsters.

Fiction? No, real, and by the way, I formed a Political Action Committee on the 60th anniversary of the Central Intelligence Agency's creation in 2007 to support a run for president, and need your help. An early candidate for president with his cell phone stolen, computer broken by a thug, and public computers hacked to high heaven because...did I mention I'm heir to HUGHES AIRCRAFT COMPANY, now d.b.a. BOEING?

Nearly 3,000 oil wells, and no indoor plumbing? Economists, maternal Navy grandma must have had ESP, because she told me in grade school that "They'll put you on bread and water," and "You won't have a pot to piss in." She was correct, and blogging at www.peoplefortherealdeal.blogspot.com does not alter the fact I'm descended from the "other" William, also known as King William IV.

A bit odd he was, but not really, so my family has endured many generations of back alley allegations we are "crazy." HOWARD HUGHES SR. = "card shark," & "ner do well." HOWARD HUGHES JR. = "playboy" & "crazy." CHARLES E. HUGHES = "obsessive" & "grandiose." WILLIAM C. HUGHES = "Bipolar." ALL TOTALLY FALSE.

Who benefited? One word: "Mafia." Economists, there are many Mafias, and all three superpowers have them. This underworld of "cash & carry" is wrecking the above-ground, or as the spies say, "white world" of commerce. T.A.R.P.? I say it's worse than Reagan's S&L scandal of the early 1980's. Far worse. Recession? Try depression, and academics, I'm out in wild & wooly California, where there is a "caste system" of unemployed, homeless, & near-homeless as follows:

BUSH SLEEPERS
BUSH WITH BICYCLE
TENT DWELLERS
CAR SLEEPERS
CAMPER NATION
MOTEL 6 ER'S
TEN TO A ROOM
PRIVATE ROOM/NO LEASE
DOOMED APARTMENT LEASE

The latter category is ill-fated because by the time they find housing, civilized behavior yields to chronic sociopathy and the "neo-poor" are summarily tossed back on the street. On my not-so-secret mission, I've told local police officers they will always have a job, because unstable employment and housing leads to unavoidable 9-1-1 calls.

As a mental health advocate and professional clinical social worker for 20 years, I have never seen anything like this, and I do not have a book contract or movie deal because the "Hughes Thing" has me macro-blacklisted. I can't even fill-out a W-4 and flip IHOP pancakes, as I did to work my way through college, because that, I've been told, is a "Mexican job."

Immigration policy, foreign policy, corporate scandal, labor unions in decline, banking a mess, GM & Chrysler dying fast, our steel mills are now in China, no new oil refineries built since 1975, when a Bush was Director of Central Intelligence, our Department of Defense building "Potemkin Village" weapon systems, and then hiding the real results of what we can just about term "E.T. R&D?" It is a mess, alright, and didn't fellow Missourian Sheryl Crow sing about it on Warner Brothers? She did, and what was that lyric about a "madman oil-driller?" Gentlemen, that's supposedly me. As for oceanic boiling fountains and "big John Deere" tractors, I'd recommend the local mental health authority.

Don't believe me? Don't write back, but if you do, perhaps you'd like to join my Hughes For President economic rescue team, because if we do not do drop all vested interests and take action, the United States Department of Labor might have to concede a 25% unemployment rate, rampant underemployment , even with vaunted .com 1990's computer skills, and then, a round of hyperinflation might seemingly prove me psychic again, because I called the $5 loaf of bread three years ago.

"Organic?" No gene-spliced wheat? Locally produced? Welcome to the $10 loaf of bread, and that's with energy costs relatively low. Did I mention I'm related to GEORGE III, who lost a war here in North America long ago? I'm not "nuts," but don't force me to take my colonies back in the biggest "Countrywide" foreclosure yet. [That's a joke, recipients, but maybe not, if the Dow falls farther].