Just Another Niggah In Jail

So, the President of the United States is trying to kill you. Sir, how long have you been endorsing this delusion?

The late, great, Californian FRANK ZAPPA, upon joining-up with Turtles, called his entourage "Just Another Band From LA." Me? Seems owning a good portion of the D-FENSE industry, plus 2,900 oil wells or so has rendered me, "Just another homeless guy." Oh Mafia! Now I want to know where every penny went, and hey, United Kingdom, given the "royal angle," my probable minimum wage as Duke of Clarence is...what?

No title? Oh, so we're going to press the WILLIAM V issue? "Whatever"--and while that one word almost got me tossed from STARBUCKS after a featherbed donated by a nutcase went in the dumpster, it is also an album title from 1992 by a musician I strongly suspect, judging by her long arms, is yet another not-so-secret royal.

A featherbed? Brand new? Retail cost estimate: $200? Is California nuts? Yes. Is Hughes? No. Are we done yet? Not yet? Royal singer, thanks for stopping by my coffee place on DeMun Avenue in Clayton, Missouri where an F-15A rattled the glass and almost stalled one day. Messages? With aircraft? Surely, you need Ativan, Prozac, Risperdal, or some such stuff. Back then, I was more "rational," and thus did not believe it was you sitting there staring out the window in the same direction as I. A trick, I thought. Clones of old "friends?" Hughes takes it all in stride. Not a hologram, eh?

Probably not, but I didn't touch her in handing over a pen, as requested. However, I did drive through the hood of a red pickup truck, which you absolutely cannot do unless it is a hologram. And, I vacated that south of LA Motel 6 when a .mil spook from my old AAA Auto Club job was spotted on the corner giving a hand sign that I interpreted as, "You almost got your ass killed." Why all of the simmering scepticism, when PINK FLOYD used holograms to good effect at their 1970's rock & roll shows? This is 2010, last I checked, nitwits. Long live the RAYTHEON GIRL for matter of factly saying, "Yeah, they can do that," regarding my alleged satellite antics, and they are mine, not yours, motherf---er. Sorry (but not really) to be so rude.

Did some drug dealing Navy scumbags really take me to the Zappa show in that banner year of 1974? He was hollering about a "Howard," but I didn't get it, nor did I get stoned, because I'm a good boy. And, believe it or not, when the "Dynamo Hum" lyrics were left on a Washington University in St. Louis chalkboard by F.Z. in 1978, I was perfectly "straight" that night as well. Subsequently, JOHN LENNON would not be well, however, and do I ever want to get to the bottom of that mess, fellahs.

Flash forward to 2010, and it seems I'll have to work on ending-up President of the United States and tying-up half the U.S. Navy's boats. Way too expensive! And, when the choice is often JAIL vs. NAVY for young men in the USA, what kind of Navy do you get? Sorry I asked, Admiral Cuckoo-Duck. Worse yet, I saw the NAVY RESEARCH LABS with my own eyes, and did not take a photo, because:

1. I hate gridlocking Washington; a politician might be late for his oral sex appointment; and,

2. I thought I might be killed, even though the acres of one-story gray buildings are there for all to see. (Same color as I painted my grandma's porch in 1987--you know, the one who got birthday cards from GEORGE H.W. BUSH. Did I really say, "Grandma, this does not look like a stamp. This signature looks real." For the record, she blushed a bit and said, "I get one every year.")

Girls, Mr. Hughes knows what is in your purse, and he has a very good idea what is going on in those buildings he would close-down as your president. Evil? Christians, what did JIMMY CARTER do in the U.S. Navy? It's one of my first January, 2013 questions if I could pull this one off. USA! USA! Here's "The Pledge": NO INTELLIGENCE BRIEFINGS UNTIL I GET THERE.

Why? Because they're all liars. And, if I "made it," when they lie to me, much like that "eccentric" WILLIE IV, the White House maintenance man can patch holes in the wall from balls expelled by my black powder pistol. The sound will be a truly unique way for the staff to know I'm not happy.