Lady Gaga a Go Go

Girl at rest, girl at work. Me Tarzan, you Jane. Not quite, because ALL SPIES LIE. All of them. All spies are going to jail? Maybe not all of them, because there are so many, it is like when the Hughes person, residing in humble accommodations, turns on the light, and many cockroaches run for cover. And, I am not talking in "spy code."

Seems like yesterday (I'm now a liar), I picked up MADONNA's riske Reagan-Bush era book of naked lady photos, and upon observing all of the leather & lace, said to a fellow CORNELL CAMPUS STORE employee, "She knows how to make some money." It would be close to 20 years before I would buy a vinyl copy of the album with "Like a Virgin" on it and think, "Good song, production all wrong, and YUK!, that compressed early digital sound really sucks."

Now, the U.K. has a Gaga, who if I wanted to insult, and I already have, so the "Intel gods" know, I shall say once more what I already said: "This is the new version of Madonna." "What does that mean?", scream the .mil & .gov types, but not really, unless you are delusional, live in Thousand Thieves/Westlake Village of the Damned, and think you are some sort of "secret agent." I know the real federales when I see them, rest assured they are very few in number, so why not go back to your day trading, single-digit millionaire larceny and leave me alone?

Back to the topic of s-e-x, an obsession along with cocaine and fancy marijuana out here on the Left/Right/Blight USA Coast, formerly known by USPS as "CA," "OR," & "WA," Lady Gaga said she is both "creative" and --GASP--"celibate." Worse yet for HollyMafiaTown, she thinks they go together, and I'm here, in part, to tell you they do. Does she know a high-placed something or other said she and Beyonce like me? I looked at a sexy photo of Beyonce and thought, "What would I do with that? " [Insert your own off-color remark here].

How many times, Soldier Boy, has my flirtation with a black female been "terminated?" Free? You talkin' to me, ass----? Why don't "they" like me flirting with African-American women? Who are they? Hey, they, Lady Gaga is white, English, smart, creative, celibate, and so am I. Yes, Ding-Dongs, I even like Fish n' Chips, the greasier the better, but a local within cart range CARLS JR. basket is priced beyond my means at the present time.

If Ms. Gaga wants to address the celibate part, get on an airplane, put on a wig, as other celebs have done, rent a car, know it is safe to drive solo on U.S. 101 (right side, girl), and.....you all know where I am.