Hey Dave, how about the "Top Five Hints You Have Fallen-In With Spies."
1. People constantly talk about one thing, but mean another.
2. The word "Die," "Died," and "Dying" come up way too often i.e. "My dog died over ten years ago, and I still miss that pooch."
3. People cough and clear their throat for no reason.
4. No one will leave the fast food restaurant until you do.
5. Your very successful friends, in regard to helping you, all say, "My wife won't let me."