Boats? What Boats?

Alright Nazi kooks, let's be humorous once more with an "Old Man Hughes" story:
Q: "Where was Hughes when Anita raised her hand?"
A: "In a luxury hotel suite with certain high level state bureaucrats. I refuse, on the advice of my invisible attorney, to disclose the state."
Q: "What were you thinking at the time, Mr. Hughes?"
A: "Many things, like what are all of those boats doing out on the lake with people looking up at our luxury suite? Why is there not so bad soft porn on the cable TV? Why did the lady I drove to the conference have some sort of 'breakdown' and get carted away by the local mental health authorities, policeman, fireman, etcetera."
Q: "What did you say to these state bureaucrats?"
A: "I said their mental health system is a fraud. There is no choice, no one gets measurably better, the drugs have many side-effects, ECT (electro convulsive therapy) is like torture, etcetera. Basically, I sounded like a damn scientologist, only I had no money and was living with my father at the time."
Q: "Why were you living with your dad?"
A: "I could not find a damn job."
Q: Where did you try to get a job?"
A: "Thought I had one with BBB, got one with AAA. It was an inside joke, I believe."
Q: "What were the bureaucrats doing at the conference?"
A: "Drinking beer and having sex with each other."
Q: "Was this practice ever halted?"
A: "No, they do it every year."
Q: "Mr. Hughes, what state are we talking about? This is outrageous!"
A: "Pardon me, while I whisper to my invisible attorney....."
[whisper, whisper]
A.2: "We've decided on a bold strategy, like asking why the fictional PENSKE employee who was supposed to return my property to me was named "Hill," as was Anita Hill, the lady who snitched on Clarence Thomas, that old letch. In Bush 41 times, no one cared, did they? I had a Jewish professor named "Hill" as well. The professor in The Music Man is named "Hill," too, if memory serves me well. And, by the way, why has half of Ventura County, California taken the name "Williams" in honor of my political science professor at Lindenwood? What the hell was going on in Williams, California? The polar bear bar had already burned down by the time I got there--this is a fact. However, the Plano, Texas guys did try to abduct me with an aluuminum ladder; not smart, because I woke up and...
"OBJECTION! OBJECTION YOUR HONOR! Mr. Hughes is daring to put ex presidents of the United States behind bars!"

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