Free Screenplays! No Fees Will Be Charged! Are Yous Nuts? I'm Not.

"They" want to know everything, so LC Lions, let's give 'em some more hell, and worthless, very public information. Such as the fact grandma moved to MINNESOTA STREET after, as my late step-grandfather put it, "Some [n-word] broke in the house." Now, major airline pilots cannot find Minneapolis (something about working on their laptops), and the FAA has blamed trouble in the tower for a recent Minnesota near-miss. If I get my turn to be POTUS, when the .gov's all scream, "He can't do that!" what is the one term reply? PATCO, PATCO, PATCO. Oh my, I wrote it three times, but seriously, don't waste money on expensive D.C. attorneys, when a "potential" President Hughes hollers, "You're fired!"

As Disney, News Corp., Cablevision, and my own DirecTV squabble as "content providers" and way too expensive digital mind controllers, good guy Mr. Hughes is about to give up more intellectual property for free, because I'm (not) a secret society communist. I'm aware of the deal. Howard had to buy his own casino, so I have to buy my own studio. May I depart California now? (I'll be back). May I run for president now?

May I use a bathroom/restroom regularly as I work on hughes screenplay #9? Oh my God! The White House has been abandoned, like On The Beach! Can you see the old newspapers & hot dog wrappers blowing near Mafia Man's big Panavision camera? A tumbleweed perhaps, in honor of Bush 43? Where's bad girl First Lady WINONA? She's in Ecuador with the president's ex-Marine National Security Advisor, "Bob." The president? Nothing much going on, as he's been locked in "The Hole," an imaginary place that was very real during that darn Cold War, where...oops!...don't 'ya hate it when the air above is poisoned, FEMA forgot to pack enough food, and the Secret Service is looking at fat aides thinking about cannibalism. RITA? She did her cameo in #8, and now she's (don't we all hate spies?) got to save the world against her better DNI/CTC judgement.

Excuse me, I know you'd all rather see a big-screen version of Gilligan's Island.

From Pg. 88

TACK

Uh, like two shuttles full of em.

TRENCHCOAT

More.

TACK

More?

SOUND: Piercing CAR ALARM.

Tack jumps, frightened.

TRENCHCOAT

Washington is a high crime area, isn't it?

Tack regains his composure as the siren WAILS.

TACK

You're an asshole. Bottom-line it, please.

TRENCHCOAT

Dead astronauts. That's your first clue. Dead astronauts.

Stanley Kubrick I am not, but 12,000 films in production and.....