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"Bring a script" to John, said URBAN DADDY, whoever they are. How about an AK-[er, I mean an Alaska postcard]. You know, the USPS state abbrreviation for Alaska, where Sarah is trying to cover up pings from "The Hideout," right? Right! Would John McCain, piss-poor Navy pilot and suck off Anheuser Busch bum [his wife owns what?] put [REDACTED BY ROBOTS FROM KETC, CHANNEL 9] in my attic? USPS? Not "private," goin' under Homeland, baby, and here's a quick HughesQuiz: Q: "What is the new name for the Department of Homeland Security? A: "The Department of Internal Security." Q: "Will this new federal department 'set-up' Muslim emergency room doctors?" A: "No." Q: "What does the FBI do regarding "national security?" A: "Set up Muslims." Q: "Do you think this fits the criteria for entrapment?" A: "Speaking as a layperson, not an attorney, every case I've read about screams entrapment to me. Don't they have anything better to do?" Q: "Did the FBI bother you?" A: "They spied on me, and stuck a gun in my face." Q: "Oh my! Mr. Hughes, what did you do...about the gun?" A: "I always have a plan, which that day was to kick his gun into the middle of Delmar, in U. City, hoping some gangster would come along and say, "Hey free gun!"

Does anybody have an AK Forty [like North Forty Drive, where I worked at AAA...I really did, and LANCE was the 11-7 overnight dispatcher, whereas here in "T.O." Lance was.....never mind.

The state's snowplows shook the house. You know, Tony's house in New Hampshire, when I recovered my childhood memory of meeting Howard in a Chitown [Cubs suck!] hotel room. Looking out the window into the really, really bright plow lights, I said, "You guys trying to tell me something?" zzzitgrrrzuuuuscrrrrdit That's the sound of my trusty all St. Loo team of dial-up experts, who fooled Verizon into letting me actually use my own computer to participate in what I call "America's Blogging Sensation." Do you really hate the government? Want to see some big boobs? C'mon, Soldier Boy won't kill you, as the internet is Al Gore's dream, a place to express yourse...[BANG-BANG-WHUMP] Excuse me, I seem to be shot. Rachel! Call 911, please!

Now, this is more like it. London, England, a fallen princess, and no such thing as non-alcohol stout? Mafia! Mafia! May I have a pint [with alcohol] and marry Royal? No? You oily little greaseballs don't get a penny! Not one.