Hail to the No Bail Chief!

Counselor, "we" all know the facts. Westport Plaza Starbucks, St. Louis County, Missouri, 2005. "Lindsey Lohan, Lindsey Lohan, Lindsey Lohan, we're making a movie, aren't we hot stuff," etc. etc. etc. Mr. Hughes (that's me) went home to 911 St. Rita Avenue, got on BRICK NETWORK (litigation pending), and thought to himself, "She's cute." Next, it was MID AMERICA RACEWAY. Seemed I could not get to my job at CHESTNUT HEALTH SYSTEMS, in Granite City, Illinois (it's Madison County, lawyers). "Race on a weeknight," I thought? Big, white, unmarked tractor-trailer trucks in the lot? "Where are the NASCAR logos and so forth?" I wondered. Next, it was CARL'S JR. in not so nice Thousand Oaks, California. What day? CHRISTMAS DAY, 2009. "What is Ms. Lohan doing meeting with a new agent at Carl's?" This I wondered, then I stepped-off the distance. Spies, you can't change it, because the tables are bolted to the floor. Eight (8) feet. What happened next? LET'S GO TO COURT!!! Poor Lindsey; no bail? Such mean judges you have in the Republic of ArnoldPacifica! Don't forget to write-in H-U-G-H-E-S for Governor on Election Day! Hey buddy, I need a job!!!!!

You all know I don't get out much, nor do I watch television. So, how would I know it was [REDACTED BY SNL CONEHEADS] in front of me in line at Starbucks? My secret gf AMY MANN was on the Muzak, and I thought, "I'm not standing behind this damn Disney star, whoever she is. Nah, I'm going over to McDonald's." Don't get it wrong, Mr. Hollywood Director, if I'm found dead, because a lady at the counter said, "Here, have a cheeseburger," and handed me one. For the record, I ate it.

From the diary even more creatures now hate:

09.07.10

10:03 a.m.

Can I skip over here and excite the masses as e-mail is prepared for www.fbi.gov & aclu.vc@verizon.net as the HATHA YOGA CLASS FLUTE plays for the YOGA STRETCH, yet another Yoga class has been scheduled for Wednesday Evening,people with English accents babble, and maybe we're finally getting somewhere.Who on the staff went on a two-week vacation? Far be it for me to ask (Mike? Mark?). Now we're talking about SPAIN, ITALY, and "friends with money," but I seem to have none. Do I have to "sign" to get out of town? Probably, if the Disney [REDACTED BY A .gov THUG] raps me on the shoulder, as he did this a.m. Or, perhaps I will sell one of those damn scripts! More on "A.M." in the "What's their real politics?" if they have any notebook. The man who gave me the breakfast ticket chided me for not being there, and I pleaded "crabby," but good weekend nonetheless.