Q: "Why is former President Clinton out on the stump defending President Obama?"

A: "Because all donkey scoundrels stick together."

Q: "Why is KENKENTNICK coughing a "non-productive cough" in the GOEBEL SENIOR ADULT CENTER Computer Lab?"

A: "I don't know. It has something to do with illegal spying?"

Q: "We've heard reports you are falling in love with the bingo caller there. Any truth to this?

A: "No, but she seems nice. Had a DISNEY shirt on that stirred them up...something about the word 'idiot'."

Q: "Do you have an issue with DISNEY?"

A: "yes. I think they stole a screenplay of mine."

Q: "To produce?"

A: "No, to say I'm a terrorist or something> You have to understand, these people who follow me ans steal my physical and intellectual property are nuts...really nuts."

Q: "What can you do about it?"

A: "Nothing at present. I'm homeless and broke. No attorney will help. The ACLU is a bad joke perpetrated by spying-assed liberals. They'd like to make myself and one of those spygirls into another damn Rosenberg case."

Q: "It's that bad?"

A: "Yes! With the prospect of a total surveillance planet and a few trillion dollars at stake, it is that bad."