Smooth Flight: The Bank Ate My ATM Card? They Can't Do That!

Let's go back in time, Cuckoo-Birds, to 1993. To the smiling TWA Captain, I said, "I did not know a plane could fly like that." [For those born after 1986, like "Rachel," in the "Pre-9/11 World," you could talk to the flight crew, and they'd just stand there like dolts, so you could]. Why did I sometimes stick my head practically over the yoke and not get it chopped off? Duh, I really, really, really, am Howard's grandson, and in the case of Trans World Airlines (TWA), I think they knew I sort of...used to OWN THE AIRLINE!!! Ask the U.S. Navy. Better yet, ask the Royal Navy. No, don't ask them, because I have something for them to...[REDACTED BY MI-6]

After reading what the rest of the worldwide rabble has to say on the "Worldwide Web," I feel energized, I feel radicalized, I'm like CLARK KENT headed for a phone booth.....no, I had SPRINT, they jacked my code in front of the Burbank, CA store when I was paying my bill, as all lawful phone users should, and I wouldn't know from social work in the ghetto, but the guy behind me leaning over to get the PIN...well...he just might have been a drug dealer. Then, when I looked outside, and saw a world famous spygirl looking a bit raggedy outside the store, I figured, "I might as well let the drug dealer have my PIN, so he can get his ass put in the jailhouse someday."

Does Palin have to do this stuff? How about Huckabee?

How about a California gubernatorial write-in campaign? Yeah, this NOVEMBER!You will be sorry you kicked me out of the PREMIER INN! Then again, who has not been kicked out of the Premier?

I need a job, man.

Thanks to Fariba Amini for getting close to that awful prison in the photo above. Mine is called "Cali-fornia." Given I am an "inmate," might as well run for Governor first. The "proven experience" thing, right Palin? Good Lord, a chimp could be governor of Alaska! Do "we" have anybody up there? Oh my God, a chimp IS the governor! What .gov federal agency can I complain to? Will they do anything about it? No!? What's wrong with that Negro? Who put him there? I DID NOT get to vote! First time I missed out since 1976. Aw, they were just sick of Bush. How old was McCain? 101? 102? I can't wait! You are not doing any RONNIE RAYGUNS on me, where some CIA whippersnapper is really in charge. Oh, that's right, I'd get rid of the CIA on day one.

It's the "Vision Thing."