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May I go retrieve one of these, instead of see things the "Jesus is coming down from the cloud" Christian nutcases likely think is real? I can't help if I know a lot of Jews, and Muslims never bother me. And, why is this a problem? May I make Fooled Again instead of Immaculate? I did the math around the time MEL GIBSON was showing you Jesus all bloody, because crucifixion is a nasty way to die. You see, Mel made money for his producers, and I can, too. Lots of it. Okay, ninny; how many Catholics? If one-tenth of them saw a movie of mine, do the math, and kindly shut the f--- up.

Hey girls, guys like to have a "babe magnet" item around the shanty, don't they? How about an Apollo era lunar rover out back? May I go get one? First, I must defecate indoors, thanks to the auspices of "ANDREA 2.0" and the CRPD. Is she in jail yet? Not yet?

May I work movies and aviation together? Somebody warned me in "code" this would happen close to the glittering propaganda mill Hollywood is. Pages and pages of "To Do" lists, and no way to do anything? What did her mom say? And yes, Mafia, the quote is going to be famous soon. "William, it's really hard when you're dealing with a bunch of nuts."

Indeed it is, yet I can fight back. Bash Hollywood for political gain? Not original, like your dumb movie and/or TV show. Tell all GOP grizzly mommas you can't top this classical "liberal" on that "pink elephant" stuff, because the "vision thing" calls for big banners that will say, "THE STATE OF MAFIA," featuring that darn CA bear on the OR, NV, AZ, & MEXICAN borders.

Hey, X-File kooks, that's me with the old SURE MICROPHONE, sleeves rolled up, and...the hair? It is not going anywhere, but as suggested by an astute 14 year-old in the run up to Kerry v. Bush, it might be tinted--just a little. How to get California's substantial ORANGE COUNTY MACHO SCRUBBIES + SAN FRANCISCO GAY/LESBIANS = MUCHO NUTSO bloc of electoral votes? Bash, bash, bash, because if, as "The Arnold" bragged in Time, these bicoastal, Left on the map, not very "pacific" loonies are "trend-setters," I, for one, do not want to go there, and girls, I'm no stick in the mud.

In fact, I'm so damn important, last evening (09.20.10) I looked skyward repeating, "Alright, what is it? What is it?" [CONTENT REDACTED BY SKINHEADED GUYS AS DEPICTED IN Enemy of the State] At home (The United Kingdom), when a citizen sees s--- like that, you can call the local policeman, and an RAF Major says, "Ho hum," but here, it is like a new, growing ever more popular "workout program" to jump up & down in unison and shout, "Hughes is crazy!" without so much as talking to me.

Hey Dodge Dolt, even the fearsome "T.O." policeman said it was a "privilege" to stop me on the street, not ask for I.D., not bother calling the "Great Cop Computer in the Sky," for alleged or slightly perceived malfeasance, like breathing, walking, talking, and failing to be hit by an oncoming German-made car (BLACK wrapper, of course). Rhythmic drumming & hollering through a CRPD Public Address rig I've dubbed "The Nazi Loudspeaker" all day on Sunday, September 19, 2010? While I was trying to take a nap? With a headache?

Thanks, Cuckoo-Birds, you've helped in the "Lemons to Lemonade" tradition, with the development of HUGHES SCREENPLAY #9. Drums! What's that line? "I came out to Hollywood, found out all they do is spy, but somehow, a bunch of lousy movies get made." Not that line! The one from #9! Film buffs, is anything original? No! But, let's go there. Poisoned air, no power, all com channels kaput, no water, and FEMA/Homeland forgot food? Jesus, they did! "Star Wars" satellites all fried, the International Space Station--gasp!--has a big hole in it, so get out the tin cans & string, and the line that goes with the "You're going deaf from DRUMMING in your stadium movie theatre seat after shelling-out ten bucks" line is....."Damn it, Winnie! It's your husband!"

BRIEF QUIZ:

Which of Mr. Hughes' favorite movies is he stealing from?

The answer, after I pee.