No Free Lunch/Shooting at Denny's

The "Y" was not lit in beeeeeuuutiful NEWBURY PARK for over a year? Going broke, are we?Trying to abduct me? Best quick "ADD" story: Narcs were bragging about beating the crap out of suspects in front of Hughes, the fed .gov man walked in, they realized the girl--it's always the girl--with them had already ratted them out but good, and you should have seen the looks on their tough guy faces! More joe, please!

Would I create I-270 in Maryland level problems by pushing RALPH's CART 729 to Denny's on my birthday to enjoy a SUPERBIRD or CLUB SANDWICH? Did "they" watch what I ate? I guess...hey Brad, how about that UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI @ COLUMBIA GIRL at the big chicken shack that went a la carte with a just enough skirt above the knee, she's older than the average undergrad, and...they were watching what I ate?

All the world is a stage, and all of the world's nation-states should have given me a, "I can drive 55" birthday present by agreeing I do not spy, nor do I run spies, but a fellow did report the Thousand Thieves/Westlake Village of the Damned residents have nothing better to do besides look at me and wonder, "What does he eat?"..."Where does he sleep?"

Hey Palin, what did Ronald Reagan say? "I'm paying for this microphone!" So, try and tell me I'm not paying for the park that has been my temporary answer to Question #2. As for Question #1, would you like an off the cuff, whistle stop demonstration on the origin and average "Food Basket" bureaucrats need a job at USDA calculations that have kept this Hughes alive on popcorn, granola bars, and trail mix for well over a year. Did Governor Palin just pee on her index cards? I hope so; at least somebody is making it to the potty in time.

Would I toss peanuts on the floor, then eat them fuzzy to "prove" to the Maf-IA I am not "OCD?" LIE PRACTICE SESSION: No, I did not do it, so go ahead and "Call the cops, Call the cops." Popcorn? "They" hate it, but my political removal of DAVID CORN's testicles was not published? What's that book called? Three books? SLU--WASH U--UMSL--not "secret code," you moron, they are LIBRARIES!!! No movies? More books? Are you kidding?

"WILL YOU ASSHO--S PLEASE SHUT UP? C'MON, SHUT UP! ALRIGHT, FATASS, ROLL THE F---ING FILM BEFORE WE ALL GET ABDUCTED BY A GODDAMN WORMHOLE! OH, NOW YOU'RE QUIET? THREE...TWO...ONE...GO!!!!!"

If there is a God, maybe really famous actors would take minor roles in my (it is mine,not yours,like HUGHES TOOL COMPANY, HUGHES AIRCRAFT COMPANY, etc.) movie. Like this:

A waitress appears.

WAITRESS

More coffee?

HUGO

Yeah, sure.

No mas! F--- you! Where is that overedue Jew with a leather briefcase and my f---ing contract? The waitress is MERYL STREEP? The waitress is SUSAN SARANDON? The waitress is DREW BARRYMORE? Yes? It's Barrymore?

"I'm not DAVID LETTERMAN, girl, but if you're gonna act like that, we can pretend like I'm grandpa Howard and...you know how that camera works if that fat, rude, below the line Mafia guy gets drunk and doesn't show, don't you? Did you have to take all of your clothes off? Drew...Drew, can I go now? No, no, we can't be doing this kind of stuff when I'm trying to run for...Drew, I don't think....."

I did what? With who?

Jim, what did you put in that coffee?