May I See The President's Service Record, Please?

Did you all enjoy my Kettleman City, California, out the window of my Super 8 Motel room, submitted to three seemingly legitimate UFO tracking outfits by USPS, probably never delivered anywhere (right Bush? Right!), let's block RAF downloads-worthy, report, later posted on AbolishTheCIA.org? What did you say? 12,000 m.p.h.? That's the "fast lane," even in KookLAland.

He famously could not pronounce the word "nuclear." The Republicans said he was never an engineer. UFO legend says he reported seeing one. Sure you did, Jimmy. I am William Hughes, and I want two things. One, I'd like to see President Carter's service record. Two, I'd like him to admit he never saw a UFO, because I don't think he did. And why didn't he? Let's add it up, USAF spies, on the "timeline."

1946: "Charles, I've got a plan."
1947: "Hughes, we don't know what it is. Get out here and help us clean this mess up."
1954: " More taxes? I'm losing my shirt. Let's form a foundation and shield the wealth. No baby? I hope there's nothing wrong with Margaret."
1955: "Stillbirth? This is not good. Tell the IRS to settle down. My attorneys say the Institute is perfectly legal."
1956: "Almost ten pounds? Breech birth? Just like my mother...he damn near killed her, eh? Charles junior? No? Who said that? Isn't that a bit too obvious?"
1963: "Go straight home, Billy. Don't stop anywhere, and don't talk to anyone."
1968: "Dad, they shot Kennedy. No, not that one, they shot another one."
1972: "Aw, c'mon, Hughes. Why don't you run. You could win."
1976: "I won? Really? How much money do we get to spend."
1977: "Guys, the people next door are narcs. You really ought to cool it."
1978: LOUD AUDIO--"I went home with a waitress, like I always do. How was I to know, she was with the Russians, too? Heyah!"
1980: "Married? Me? Oh, alright."
1981: a) "The CIA killed John Lennon"; b) "What is Haig talking about? What does the order of secession have to do with it? What is Bush doing just sitting there?"
1982: "The military and most of the federal bureaucracy wants to overthrow the government? If that were true, I guess I would." [Who said that? Does not matter. What matters is that way too popular, intel amphetamine-hypnotic combo, not available at Walgreens or CVS. Sports fans, even that stuff can be beat after enough time passes, and with the right kind of help].
1983: "What's that going up from Vandenberg? I don't like the sound of it. Why do they need two Shuttle programs?"
1985: "Why are you using your last name as your middle name?"
[SCREEEEECH-CRASH-BAM-CRUNCH-TINKLE-TINKLE]

more later, right MAF-ia? Right!
and have a nice day.